Below is an email excerpt from Sherri with an update. With the hectic holiday season, she was able to send something which I appreciate. If you’re reading this, please send your updates if you received advice. Here’s her original question:
I’ve been single for 4 years. In that time I got my Bachelors a certificate in nursing I moved to my own place and I finally began paying down my debt. That makes 4 years of focusing on me me me. Reading the self help helpbooks, attending classes (I know, I know ) and all that good stuff to make me a better girlfriend or wife. Everday also, I’ve been going to the Starbucks downstairs from my job at the same time because that is where two of my friends met their current boyfriends and they are great men.
Why can’t that happen to me? Everybody thinks I am so together and happy since my life has changed alot in the past years. But time has flown by and it looks like I will be spending New Years’ Eve all alone again. I’m not saying that I want a man to come into my life and go ahead and fix it and make it all gravy because I know it’s not that easy.
I’m just saying that it would be nice to at least talk to someone on the phone and go to the movies here and there. I’m patient enough to let things build. I’ve been doing everything right, I’m also in shape and eat healthy (minus the Starbucks), why can’t I just attract a good man? Why cant I just get it this part right finally?
Sorry it took a minute to get back to the blog with what happened. So, I tried the “treatments”. I had never done anything like that before. EVER. The closest thing I ever did to letting go of me wanting a relationship so badly was basically drinking or crying myself to sleep. I left some details out from my advice question.
After that didn’t work I got a life coach. It was gift from my mother. She helped me put things in focus but it was the same ole same ole–do this, do that, then do this, do that. Basically the ideas I could have came up with myself. But my mother paid for it and at least she held me accountable. I had to report back to coach and sometimes I messed up because I knew she’d give me something else that was hopefully better. Anyway, when I stopped that I was on my own again, back to normal slowed down with the partying. It got bad when my best friend met someone. I didn’t hear from her, and she upped and married him right away. They are happy. He treats her like gold.
So I was frustrated again. But I kept myself up and focused though I wasn’t meeting anyone. I was so close to giving up until I found this site. After I emailed you, and tried what you told me, it was crazy. I mean exes started coming out the woodwork. Two called me, but I kept on. Then I started meeting more men just doing simple stuff like washing my car, going to Starbucks, etc. Around week 3 or 4, I felt so good and strong within myself. I wasn’t scared anymore. I felt like I already had a man in my life with what you told me to try. Even my mother was shocked. I’m on week 4 now.
I am dating someone right now that is unlike any man I’ve met. We connected through a friend of my uncle. About the first week I started the “treatments”, I was at my uncle because I was upset about the care center I was working at. My uncle told me his new girlfriend’s son is a doctor and works at this big hospital and may be able to send my resume. He was coming by to pick up his mother at my uncle’s house that night. My uncle told me I could give my resume to him then. I was like, okay. Big, geek for sure. Probably with glasses. Whatever, man, I needed a job….When I opened the door to let him in, all I see was this handsome, 6’4, about 230 pound brown skinned man in front of me. No doctor of mine ever looked like he did. We went to the movies later that weekend and we have been talking everyday since.
I have 5 more Tuesdays with the “treatments” that I plan to finish. It also helps me stay focused without getting too excited. I was single for 4 years. No man. This is almost like dreamy to me. I’m 32, learned a few things….I know it in my heart this man is special. We are taking it slow, if we can stand it. He’s already invited me to spend New Year’s Eve with him at his home, something nice and romantic like I had always wanted. And I am. He asked me since early December about it. I’m going to finish the “treatments” and keep them…. I didn’t realize how much of my own power I was neglecting…. Oh, yeah, he did get a chance to pass my resume on. He’s also a Starbucks nut like me.
Thank you again,
Update 2012 – Sherri is married to this man above, original post 2009
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