My wedding is three months away.
My fiance and I had a fight about how many men I’ve slept with. We were having fun at first, then he asked me. He asked me when we dated, too. I told him a different number this time and he flipped out. The truth is I’ve slept with so many men I can’t remember. I don’t want to remember how many. Now, he’s having doubts about what he calls my “virtue”. I am so scared that I messed things up. He hasn’t spoken to me in a week and we have a wedding shower coming up. Should I just tell him the truth about my past?
Dear G. Lady:
NOOOOOOO. Every woman has secrets. If it has nothing to do with him, no need to tell. No matter if it’s 1 or 100 it can never be the “right” number.
I am sensing that he is upset about something else. He may be using this little number thing as an excuse. But you didn’t say how much different was your number. Did you tell him 3 the first time, then 5 the next. Or 3 the first time, and 27 the next. If so, then maybe he’s pissed at that, too. I just don’t see why he hasn’t spoken to you over a week about this. He could be wanting to slow this all down. But let’s just say he is angry about the number, there’s an age old adage: once you get to 10, you start at 1 again. A real woman never gives her number. These days women are more single longer than ever thus having more partners, not something many women choose, but it’s just biology. We have to mate, of course with discretion because a woman should always be looking to preserve her genetic integrity and not squander it with the pool boy when you wanted the banker boy.
Hold your ground. Make him know that it is only him for life. Understand that he may be confused now. Talk to him, but keep the details of your past, in the past.