Advice: Should I Freak ‘Em To Keep ‘Em?
March 16, 2009
I have been with my man for a year.
He’s 35, and I’m 28. We have a good relationship, but we are more better in bed. Our sex is great actually. But lately, he’s been wanting me to do new stuff. It’s like he’s getting bored with me. Mind you, I wax, primp, and polish every part of me. I smell good and look good 24/7. Really, I am tired. It takes a lot of work. Now, he wants to put something new down. He wants me to take a stripper dance class then get a pole for the bedroom. I’m like “I work 40 hours a week. I don’t have time for all that!” But I’m scared, he’s gonna get restless and cheat. My mama always said what a woman at home won’t do, an outside woman will do. What should I do?
Frustrated in Harlem,
Kym
Dear Kym:
Well, sounds to me you are already doing 90% of the work.
It’s expensive to wax, primp and polish! Sounds like you two live together so you have to constantly be making sure you’re on point. Here’s what I think: Unless you are married to the man, use the money for the pole dance classes and get a nice massage. You need a break! Listen, if a man is already restless after a year even after great sex, he’s gonna be like that after you marry. You want a man who wants to stay not one you have to keep. What you fight to get you fight to keep. Same thing. Frankly, these days men are so spoiled. They are living in a fantasy. If a woman is spoiled because she wants a fantasy man with lots of money, then men are guilty of wanting fantasy women with perfect sex and availability.
There’s some of both out there, but on the plane of reality it may not happen all at once. So, let me get this straight. He wants you to learn how to swing around a pole after working a full day, then come home and swing around the pole for him at night? LOL. Don’t take the classes. Give him 50 singles and send him to the strip club. You’ll have plenty of time to relax at home and when he gets in–go back to your normal sexing ways.
You two need a break from each other, not more in the bedroom. He needs to build up his lust for you again. If he wants more in the bed, tell him to marry you. Remember men don’t always know what they want. They’ll have sex with a brown paper bag if it looked good enough. It’s up to women to give them just enough, but never too much. It’s just a man’s nature to withdraw when he gets it all, there’s no more thrill. That’s all.
EXTREME EXCEPTION TO THE RULE BY RICH MAN WHO CONTACTED ME: TAKE THE CLASSES IF YOUR MAN IS RICH.
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KYM – Freak your man – Keep your man. Trust me – he’ll find someone to do the things he wants you to do. What does it hurt to put in a little more effort. Challenge him to do something you want. Make his ass go shoe shopping or something else you women find sexy
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He is testing you to see if you are the kind of woman who will do “just about anything” with him. Send him to the strip club and when he gets home – give him the real lap dance.
I LOVE THIS BLOG! ON POINT ADVICE!
Only if the paper bag cooks pancakes in the morning, thanks.
That’s why it’s important that women have game. It’s going to be those days when you just want to sew and staple your vagina shut. There’s an art form to hypnotizing men emotionally so that sex doesn’t become the ONLY goal in his relationship with you.
Maybe it’s the prim and proper that’s making him bored. Learn to be more interesting and eccentric, instead of “pretty”. The fascination with eccentric-ism lasts longer than beauty!
Rule 1-Never co-habitat, when you do, your relationship is 80% more likely to end and it will en dwell. He can always get another woman to move in and conveniently share his bed. Trust me they are a dime-a-dozen.
Rule 2- Never have sleep with a man you are not married to. That one explains itself
So those are my two rules for the wise.
I’ve never had a live-in BF. If you want it that bad then marry me. *Hey, that’s just me no judgment on anybody* Now, never do ANYTHING out of fear. I see a slight age difference between you and your man. I think maybe he figured your a lil younger and you’d have more stamina and “tricks” up your sleeve and now he’s waiting for the tricks. LOL
Honey, if he’s gonna cheat there’s no amount of cooking/cleaning/loving you can give him that will stop him from that. Don’t put that burden on yourself. But, you say that you work 40hrs a week. Well, why not trick/treat for the both of you. Take a quick getaway Upstate to the NY Vineyards. Get a rest for yourself and then rock his Box at a nice lil bed&breakfast. If that doesn’t work then I don’t know *shrugs*. You might have to rethink the direction of your relationship.
Good Luck Sweetie
❤ EbonyLolita ❤
Why move in with a man you’ve known less than a year? You are being too nice and guys like him don’t appreciate nice girls. You have to find your inner bitch to keep him interested a little longer. You are doing too much for him anyway and he is getting tired of you. Remember, when you burn the candle at both ends it burns twice as bright, but half as long. Create some distance between the two of you. And I hope your mama wasn’t referring to him when giving you that kind of advice. You should only go that far with your husband. This guy may not deserve you. You want a man that craves YOU, not just your sex.