If you’ve got the ambition to succeed then you’ll do it as fast as Opportunities allow you to. Your mother’s attitude or nosiness might be the extra push you need to motivate you to get another job. This is my advice to you Tek it or Leave it. But Good Luck all the way in Love/Life/Career

Love,
EbonyLolita

I agree with THC, BB, and Zabeth’s second comment. The idea of shacking up with no collateral goes against anything that I would recommend to her (or my own daughter if I had one).

1. Let the eviction happen. Join the hundreds of other thousands going through the same ish. In the long-run, banks and creditors will look back at 2009 differently than any other time. With unemployment at 10%, you have a good excuse.

2. Suck it up and live with moms for at least three months after you nail down a J-O-B. Yea, it sucks. Yea, your man can’t walk around the house in his boxer shorts. But you get what you need and that is some chips in your pocket. Don’t waste it playing catchup on your rent. When you move down to be with Mr. Texas you aren’t 100% at his will and mercy. The only thing worse than being homeless and broke in New York/at your mamma’s is being homeless in broke 1,500 miles away from New York/at your mamma’s.

3. You need a commitment if you’re going to get married. The adage, “why buy the milk when the cow is for free” is very true. Guys will milk the “live-in girlfriend” schtick forever. Don’t know how old you are but if you’re trying to get wifed up, you need to have more than just trust that he will make you his wife. Letting you bed down with him during cold months isn’t a lifelong committment. The benefits of marriage are many for those who shack up: mainly taxes and estate related.

Best of luck with whatever you choose.

I wish her the best though!

No woman loses her mystery/value in the eyes of her lover faster than a live-in girlfiend with no job, no money, no friends nearby, no outside life. Eventually, he will want to see what you bring to the table since he’ll be supporting you. Make sure you have a backup plan and consider other ways to make $$$. You don’t want to be alone and broke in Texas. You are already doing that in New York… (And, be smarter about $. Charity? No more victimhood. Own your decisions. You’re an adult. Good Luck to you and please keep us posted)

BTW, Brian is right. Sit down with him and discuss expectations.

then I read Brian’s advice and I think what he is suggesting is the best advice so far…Good Luck and let us know how things worked out.

If he told you that you can come stay with him while you get on your feet; he doesn’t plan on letting you leave. Men don’t throw around giving up their freedom all willy-nilly. The grown-up thing to do is to sit down with him and work out a plan. Let him know what your expectations are and have him express his expectations to you. Do this in a neutral place. And if your expectation is to get there and get a job and all that, tell him and then do it. Don’t get there, get all comfortable and then change it all up.

It sounds like he has the kind of ends that can support a wife and kids and might be ready for that. You just need to be clear with him. Or maybe he just wants to shack up until you get on your feet and then help you get an apartment – who knows? Regardless, at least your dollar will stretch further in Texas – so if you get put out, you can survive a little easier. (just kidding on that last part)

1.) She doesn’t have any money. My concern is that she will become financially dependent on him which does not bode well for any relationship. You definitely don’t want jump into a relationship and move in with a man out of financial desperation. To some men, an inability to manage money well can be unattractive or a detriment to the relationship.

2.) Has he proposed to her? It sounds like he may be on that track but, I PERSONALLY don’t like the idea of living with a man without an engagement. From what I’ve seen and experienced in life, once you move in with a boyfriend it takes him that much longer to propose and make things legal than if you had lived separately or, the woman becomes his baby’s mama and she wants to be married. But then again, it’s a situation where she’s about to be homeless.

It’s a tough call, but my advice would be to get your life in order first and then move toward taking the relationship to the next level.