No it ain't him at the door, no 'mo
I have been with my man for a year now.
We are both in our early 30s and spend lots of time together. We did everything together—shopping, eating, traveling, cooking, exercising, you name it. Moving in together was the only thing left to do. When January rolled around and he didn’t mention it, it got me to thinking where is it all going. I have been through so much with this man from a threesome and to him making me get breast implants to his metrosexual tendencies that had me giving him the side eye for a minute.
In the last two months, he has been pushing me away is what I feel. He doesn’t call me right away like he used to when I leave messages, I go shopping alone now (he loves to shop!), and he took a vacation alone in November, without me! He went alone, he claimed
We went down from talking 5 times a day to twice. I know it may not seem like a big deal, but this is my man. I know my man. And I feel he wants out. I don’t think I have been smothering him because I gave him the space to do these things, when we are supposed to be getting closer, we are getting further apart….Help! From, Can’t Sleep
Dear CS:
There’s nothing really to say. You played your cards at the wrong table. He’s done. It’s his right to move about freely, as it is for us all. No kids, no ring, nothing but some shopping bags from the mall (and fake breasts). Move on with some dignity left. When a man is ready to leave, there is nothing you can do. Well, there is, but you don’t want to mess with that.
From an AF w/love,
MR
@bottom B: LOL – train – too funny. Wasn’t there a mad “How you doin?” vibe to her description of her man?
@CS: I hate to sound cliche but, “He’s Just Not That Into You.” Your movie will be out in a couple of weeks. Move on and bless another man with those new hooters!
On the real – it was just a year and just a man. Hopefully you had a little fun and learned a few lessons.
@sherryberry:
girl, you told it how it is, was, and will be! sheesh, i’d hate to be on the recieving end of that! lol!
i was trying to be nice, but you said it like my mama would have. straight up!!
girl forget about that no-man before he forgets about you. leave with your womanhood (dignity) intact like she said.
hell, go on your own damn vacation!!
good luck.
LOL. Some women are just not very smart and people wonder why pimps always have a job. She just got smutted out and he ready to move on. No man that was serious about a women who is not into open relationships or swinging would let his women be in a threesome. Also I hope the third person was a women because if it wasn’t then you had train run on you.
Oh CS…
My rule of thumb is date a guy for a year and if the relationship is not heading to marriage, leave. moving in together is never a good idea. So it is good that didn’t happen, but this guy obviously was not ready to make a solid commitment to you.
Leave him alone, and the means no calls, no nothing and if he calls you. Firmly tell him that you are done with him and you won’t be accepting his calls.
You will do all this in time. I can\\\’t make you do it, none of us can. only you can do this. Do it for yourself. You are a woman and therefore I love you.
When she said they had a threesome I knew it was over.
This reminds me of the post from the lady in France. It sounds like CS LOST herself in this relationship. Why get breast implants for someone else? Especially someone you’ve only been in a relationship with for a year (not that it’s ever okay)? It sounds like she gave him everything so early in the relationship (i.e. played all her cards) that he wasn’t challenged anymore and lost interest.
I say don’t fight to keep the relationship going, let it end. Or let him walk away.
what?!
CS It’s ova! He just isn’t man enough to say it to your face. Take some time to fall in love with you!
CS It is obvious you are a nut! Breast implants? Sounds like u are feeling bad about moving too quick, dont blame the man for your own decisions and mistakes. Glad Maryann didnt waste too many words on you beause her advice is usually longer.
Wow! I kept reading and when she got to the breast implants, I cringed. Honestly, she kind of pissed me off at how insecure she sounds ( ok, I was going to say pathetic but I’m trying to be nice
)
No man wants a woman who does exactly what he ask all the time, she sounds like a predictable chick. This letter was so sad, it seems like she got the memo too late that he had moved on and most likely with someone else- a man taking a vacation alone? Um, yeah- not likely.
I think what killed the relationship was getting those fake spheres on her chest for a man (that just made me want to vomit) silicone and ceallene is so 90′s; she said “he made me,” what? As a woman she made a stupid decision and is now resenting him for it, same thing with the threesome. Damn, he played her out.
I take this post as a lesson to not be so Goddamned gullible and predictable- it’s the kiss of death.
Also, it just seemed like she got too comfortable, too fast, a threesome and breast implants for a dude in a span of a year- come on! This goes to show me that if you let men treat you like an object for their amusement, they will get bored and find another model.
I’m sorry if I sound harsh, but this is a wake up call for all women- submitting to a loving man and being exploited by an assh*le are two extremly different things. BTW, was he ever really her man to begin with? Hmmm, I think not.
Hi there, I would ask him straight up if we are still on the same page and if we are not I’d leave him be. If he still wants a future then you guys need to communicate more effectively and question why he’s been so distant lately. You could just be overreacting..maybe he’s just distracted with work or something else. BOTTOM LINE: get to the bottom of it so you can settle in again or be OUT!
Good LUCK!