WEEKEND REWIND: Advice: Need A Woman, I Think
January 30, 2009
I’m what many of you women call a “dog” because I had a lot of women. I’m tall, handsome, gainfully employed, in good shape, got my own car, home, and even a second home. I know I can be a good provider. I haven’t had a real girlfriend in like 5 years. I’m 38. I have no kids, and I’m starting to catch hell from family and the baby daddies around me. The thing is I want kids, but I don’t want to get married. At least, not marry the wrong person. That scares the hell outta me. I’ve worked too hard. I just feel time is slipping by. The afterwork parties and all that is getting wack. I want a soft ass in my bed that’s mine. Where do I start?
Single,
*Shane
Dear *Shane,
Damn. Well, let me just say I wanna stay as far away from you as possible, hon. You sound really confused. But you’ve come for advice, so here’s some.
Make a decision. You are 38. That good ole sperm is gonna be kicking around until you die, but the quality starts depleting at 30 when testosterone drops. Use it now. By the time the kid is 10, you’re gonna be almost 50. Dads at 50 can’t quite play football with their sons like they do at 30. I don’t mean to sound bleak, but the facts are the facts. It doesn’t sound like you wanna be running around forever. Hell, when you marry you’ll have more women who want you. Think it’s a lot now? I’ll tell you why on a later post.
Find a girl, get to know her, and marry her. Date her, date a few with an objective in mind that you want to settle down by (fill in date here). Don’t tell her because she may get you to knock her up a lot sooner. Think about it. When you marry, your domestic situation ain’t gonna change much. You’ll pretty much do the same thing and come home at the same time. But for your wife, her domestic life changes instantly because more than likely she’ll be working, cooking, running errands, and getting both of your lives together. Men expect their women to have some domestic skills. You’ll have help and a warm body next to you at night. If that’s what you want, please don’t choose anyone whose career is more important than her marriage. Figure out what you want at home. It’ll save you lots of stress later on.
Again, date with a purpose, most good businesmen do. You’ve had the sex, the parties, and the money. It’s time for you to stop letting fear run your life. Yes, you are afraid that is why you want to maintain so much control by not allowing someone else in your life on a consistent basis. I can tell you want to be married. That’s your normal male tendency that you can’t ignore. It’s in your gene. Will you be faithful? That’s not the point. But the point is that you want to bond with another woman in a meaningful way to propagate the species.
You need a legacy. Make her sign a prenup, too. Read my book MRS. BIG and find out what happens when you don’t. Sounds like you could be working with a lil somethin.
An AF With Love,
MR
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another confused man well the first step in getting married is learning how to make a damn decision he cant even do that
I’m sorry, but this guy is a lost cause to me. I think he should just date another stupid girl, knock her up and pay child support every month for 18 years. He’s talking about having a “soft ass,” not having a wife- two different things. I can’t help but shake my head at this fool, or get on my knees and thank God I wasn’t in a relationship with him ( thank you Jesus).
Great advice Maryann, but doubt if he follows it: he sounds too caught up in the Matrix with women throwing their coochie at him because he’s handsome and financially stable and having convenient, no string attach sex has spoiled him to no end. I think if he does get married, he will only make his wife miserable with impossible demands, mistresses and domineering, machismo posturings. Do I have concrete proof of this, no do I sense it in my gut, yes. Ladies, here is the type of guy you don’t open you legs for, he’ll just hurt you in the end.
The best thing I ever did was get married I got a nurse, cook, dishwasher, accountant, lawyer (she is one), sex kitten all in one.
is he on Facebook? Help a sister out! (oh and I got the ebook today
LMAO
I guess he never heard once you reach your mid to late 20’s its about the quality women you deal with and not about the quantity of women. Mary what you said was on point.
I was going to say that I was confused…at first he said he doesn’t want to get married b/c it scares him but more towards the end, he says that he wants a soft ass next to him.
Either or, I believe that the advice given was very sound and not much more needs to be added. Bottom line is at 38, much like your career, you should know what you want relationship wise. If you’re seeking to have a child but don’t really want the “pains” of marriage, adoption is always an option.
Marriage should not be a goal. It should be a natural progression of a committed relationship and not something rushed into because you’re feeling pressure from some idealistic people. Let them worry about their own lives, you worry about yours. It sounds to me like you have nothing to worry about anyway. You have your life in order.