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ADVICE: He Doesn’t Want Kids!

baby2Dear Alphanista,

I live with this man who is an answer to my dreams.

I am 37, and he is 52.    We have been together for 5 years.  He takes care of it all.  He adores me, and we share so much in common.  We are not engaged, but want to be.  And get married, of course. However, I cannot bring myself to decide if I am ready.  He told me many times he does not want kids at all.  No adoption, no nothing.  He has 1 son who is 25.  He claims his heart condition may mean he will die early and I will be stuck raising them.  I don’t think it is that serious or deep.  I

think he just doesn’t want to be inconvenienced.  I have no children.  I want some desperately.  I have been with him hoping he’d just get me pregnant.  I even went off the pill, but he somehow sensed it, and we argued.  I’m back on it.  But I am ready to just let anyone get me pregnant! I want a child, but I do not want to lose the best thing that ever happened to me.  What do I do???

Pain and Pleasure,




From Alphanista w/Love,



  • empress20

    Girl run fast, like you stole something! Dude is never, ever going to change his mind. Who knows, you might find somebody who treats you better than he does and is willing to share in the experience of having a child with you (total package). Stop selling yourself short. Your not getting any younger so you might want to start thinking about your future and your happiness. He hasn’t even proposed marriage, and you guys been together for 5 years, and on top of that he is damn near 60yrs old!!! What is he waiting for? You are at the prime of your life. He’s already past his and he has a son to carry on his legacy! Keep denying yourself the joys of motherhood and I can tell you what will happen: He is going to string you along until he gets tired of hearing you wine about wanting babies or until you are too old to even try and then DUMP you for another woman with whom he will have children (plural) with. your happiness comes first! Dont say we didn’t warn you!

  • ohthesweetpromise

    Yall this woman does not need us to tell her, she already knows what she should do. The only reason she is staying is because she is comfortable in the twisted fantasy she has created for herself. She might also be wondering where in the world she will fit after sharing her life with a man for five years who took care of everything.

    The moral o the story if people will show you exactly who they are. It is up to you to see it, recognize it and make so tough life decisions.

  • Maryann

    LMAO @This dude wants to only be your daddy, nobody else’s.

  • Nana

    First of all, “we WANT to be engaged”? There is no want in engagements. You either get or you get out. My ex’s wife had a baby when he was 52 and he’s still not happy. Clue: he said he doesn’t want a baby. You do. You need to find somebody else who do too. And hurry. Your fertility train is about to leave the station.
    Trust: if he raided the day care to get you, he knows where that jungle gym is so he will find another one your age. Or younger. Mama always said if you don’t like the situation, either change the situation or change your attitude.
    This dude wants to only be your daddy, nobody else’s. Get to steppin’……

  • Zabeth

    If he doesn’t want children now, it means he probably didn’t want children 5 years ago either.

  • Athena Nike

    Stop living in Sin!! you have been in it too long, and he knows it too….
    Both of you are wrong for thinking all this time would change the other persons mind.
    Stop being his tenderoni and make yourself available for the man who can fulfill all your needs.

  • soledtress

    @ *Rachel…you heard what Maryann said and all the other ladies chatting today….its plain and simple! LEAVE

  • Shermayne M Brown

    MMMMPH!!! Gurl, you gotta get outta that! He’s 52, he’s NOT changing his mind no matter what you do!

  • The Hooker Chronicles

    I agree, Leave!

    She needs to find a man that’s equally yoked with her, and wants the same shit she does.

  • EbonyLolita

    Thank u Maryann…. because he’s gonna hate her when she gets pregnant and he’ll swiftly change from the best thing that’s ever had to a Deadbeat. He’s thinking smart and she’s in lala land. At least he told her the truth up front 🙂

    Love, EbonyLolita 😉

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