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Guest Blogger, The Hooker Chronicles
Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man By Steve Harvey
Good lord, nothings screams gullible like a bunch of women taking love and relationship advice from a man who’s been married 3 times and divorced 2. But hey, if they like it, I love it.
But let’s look at it positively. Let’s say that these women think that Steve Harvey is just so incredibly wise that he can, actually, condense all the complexity of relationship dynamics into a 243 page paperback book. They’d be wrong, of course. If that were true, we’d have far less females taking a trip to the Government office building to fill out child support papers and State Aid.
On the other hand, I do agree with Steve’s advice on the basics. Support your man, love your man, have sex with your man. In a relationship, those three things are the main ingredients. But again, that advice is nothing revolutionary or ground breaking, that’s just common sense.
As I was reading the book, I quickly began to realize that a lot of the advice he’s giving is advice for a woman looking to date ……him. He doesn’t touch on societal contribution to the deterioration of the black family and relationships; and how most of the problems stem from a fundamental lack of respect that black people tend to have for each other. I say black people, because I do feel that this book was largely written with black people in mind.
He never really touches on serious issues plaguing our communities, and I guess that’s because he’s not a serious dude. But if you want the truth about single womanhood, then understand that a LOT of our issues comes from the way we were raised, and how we were taught to view our men.
If you grew up in a household where your mammy constantly reiterated how much of a dog your daddy was, then chances are you have been “nurtured” into the exact same mind fame.
Another thing I found silly about his book was his 90 rule, which tells a woman to wait 90 days before she has sex with a new boyfriend, and I’m here to tell you that’s BULLSH*T. If a man is interested in you, and I mean really interested, then he’s going to stick around…..period! That’s the same stupid game women play once they get the man down the isle, and then before you know it, he’s cheating.
So in the end, Steve Harvey’s book is great for a laugh and its entertainment value. But ultimately shouldn’t be viewed as a cutting edge “how to guide”!
To find out more about our guest blogger, please go to http://thehookerchronicles.blogspot.com/.
PART II of this book is definitely coming, this is ONLY the beginning of Steve Harvey
@EbonyLolita
I toally agree 100%…
Hmmm…. I agree b/c how your conditioned plays a big part on how you view life and your interactions with men is based on what you see/experience in the household. I was fortunate enough to benefit from my parents 30+ marriage where I saw and still see the mutual love and nurturing. This blueprint has Tremendously shaped what I want out of a MAN not a MALE and I’m on the hunt for it and will except nothing less. Which, is why I’m single.
However, I think that when books are written, just like opinions, it can only come from your perspective of life. It took Steve Harvey 3x to evolve and develop into the type of man that he wanted to be proud to be. This is no different from a Hooker that becomes reformed and later turns her life around to never hit the track again. People Evolve whether it’s due to natural maturity or circumstances. I will not discount his valid views from the book due to his evolution. Now, a lot of this advice comes from the ideals that we have abandoned and I think ppl are “astounded” b/c they’ve forgotten or never learned those ideals. I cannot blame people for not having a good example of a Man. I can blame them for not going after what they DON’T want based on what they’ve seen. We’ve got to do better as a people. Embrace your pain and then use that ish as a stepping stone to a better life.
At the end of the day, my fav phrase, be the best person that you can be on all levels spiritually/mentally/physically/emotionally. If the person that you are destined to share a Marriage with comes along you should want to be as Evolved as possible, if not be honest about it and see what happens. Too many have lowered the bar for what a MAN, not MALE, should be and that is why MALES have not stepped their game up and only offer small tidbits of themselves instead of being Well Rounded MEN that can Respect/Protect/Provide for Women
@DatGirlRightDer
I think the fact that he isn’t a Sociologist or professional should be taken into consideration especially if he’s telling millions of women “This is how men act”. Has he done the proper research and polls to back up his statements? All it usually takes is for a man to be in a different income bracket, culture, career, and community too see a differences in personalities and habits.
Hell, even the men in my neighborhood are totally different than the men that were raised in the country and boonies. And trust me, men in the country are less likely to leave their families hanging when bills can’t be paid or he’s depressed. It’s just not how they were raised.
I think he basiclly gave us an “idea” of how he thinks Black men are, and not all men!
LMAO@THC But Steve Harvey is not a sociologist or doctor he cannot give us the ills of the black community he can also gives us what he thinks, maybe his divorces qualifies him more than a single man? Would it be better from a single man? Why do you think it was just for black people? If it was he wouldnt of been on Oprah!
@James
Let’s just put it this way….
Every man is different ,and I have the privilege of experiencing those differences on a one on one basis. I take those differences and make a mental note of them to help me understand them better.
A hooker can probably teach the complexities of men better than he can.
When I used to teach seminars on sex and relationships, I always went for the unconventional approach when I spoke to my women. I always said that if a man bases his respect for you on how early or late you had sex with him, then he’s really not that interested in you! And again, a lot of that stems from how he was raised, and the popular idea that women are unclean if they like sex.
When I got into my relationship with my primary, I gave him the “Get over it” speech before we got serious.
The “Get Over it” speech is…
I’m a hooker…Get over it!
I’m kinky….Get over it!
I’m poly…Get over it!
And this is my lifestyle…..Get over it!
But I think the bulk of his love for me comes from his fascination with the lifestyle, and it helps if your man finds you interesting.
So that means a hooker’s take is more accurate? LOL It may be! My girl right now and I had sex on the first date, we’ve been together for a few years, just got engaged. So, ladies, it’s up to you! Choose a good brother. Don’t blame the man when it doesn’t work out after you laid everything out.
I definitely agree with ur point regarding the 90 day rule….if you are tuned into your man you’ll know when it’s right…i always say when in doubt, DON’T!
I agree with you. I have also read an older book “Why Men Love Bitches” (I forgot the authors’ name). This author is also a comedian, but she gives a caucasian view that is not so different from his. It is very funny and entertaining, but has good pointers as well. Like you said this is entertainment and if some do understand how to get a good man, then common sense should come in handy…lol.
Women just have to think about what turns them off and also seek advise from a brother, father, and/or other male figures that have their best ineterest to help figure some things out. Men are not as complex as we are, however just 360 with their thinking. Ultimately, I do not think anyone can write the “aaahaa” moment and solution to this problem, but advice with experience is the best teacher.
True! Great writing! I’m not a fan of Steve Harvey but this book seems to be the Bible for Black women these days. I don’t care to follow the crowd though so i haven’t read it.