Let’s Talk About (Pep) What?
January 22, 2010
By Guest Blogger Jules Sinclair
I gave myself a few episodes of VH1 Let’s Talk About Pep, but all I learned was why so many women are by themselves.
It’s pretty pathetic. So, they’re gonna get dating help from a single dating coach at Essence? That’s like the blind leading the deaf, leading the blind would be too easy. This show should be a warning to younger gals on what to do to to AVOID getting to where these ladies are. I am all for looking for love at any age, but you can very well see the “issues” that landed these ladies single in the first place. Shall I run it down? Well, not here. But I will say that they are not role models of what it is to be single and black. How can you have a “Christian” like Jacque Reid considering having an out of wedlock child with a friend? Then there’s Pep, who is more like 20, instead of 40. Who wants to be that age going on first dates with men with S-curls?
I do wish these single ladies the best, and I will be watching. But being on a reality show and advertising the “crazy” is not a prescription for a husband, just more of the same (with a nicer car).
Jules Sinclair is a painter, newly single and living in NYC. She’s 26.
Alpha Cure: Self Doubt
January 20, 2010
You finally found that man/woman you were ready for, but you doubt they’ll stick around.
You stumbled upon your dream job but you doubt they’ll like you. You just bought a new Bobbi Brown foundation, but doubt it’ll be like your Prescriptives favorite.
These are all the whispers of self-sabotage getting ready to make an appearance.
All common, but what’s not is the response. Lately, I’ve been reading more on self talk. The things we tell ourselves when we feel “bad”. But how does one talk to self, when it’s the self that feels bad?! Well, there is a technique I read about in this book called Awaken Your Strongest Self. It says that we must “parent” ourselves and step outside. Not scold or criticize how we feel, but “baby” it and cajole it. Validate your feelings because they are real. Then walk yourself through to the remedy. Next time you get crazy thoughts, parent yourself through positive self talk. Don’t make any promises like “I will never feel this way again”. But more like “I understand how you feel, and I’m here for you.” There’s no need to struggle alone, or feel like you are alone, when we have so many facets of ourselves waiting to assist: the manager, the teacher, the student, etc.
Because all we all want to hear at the end of the day is that “It will all be okay”. Even if it’s a lie. Fake it until you make it.
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Did You Join the Inner Circle II Yet? Listen Up!
January 19, 2010
What a great call we had last night!
Former Inner Circle members joined it and shared their results, and new members signed on. You all almost crashed the system! No doubt this is one of the best kept secrets in town 
If you missed the call, you can listen to a recording. Due to technical difficulties, please fast forward to 4:50 by pressing the number “3″ on your dialpad. You can also press “5″ to hear the current location in the recording. See below for playback details.
Playback Dial-in Number: 1-517-417-5603 East Coast
Playback Access Code: 269765
Conference Recording (click to download)
Wanna skip that and just sign up to change your life? Go here now!
See you in the forums!
Don’t Let Your Girlfriends Fuel The Fire
January 19, 2010
Can you guess who these best friends are? (Hint: They have their own reality show)
By Guest Blogger Toi
Most of the time, our friends have our best interest at heart.
They want to see us happy, prosperous, and living life to its fullest. When we’re experiencing issues and drama in our lives, particularly pertaining to romantic relationships, our friends are typically the first people we turn to.
While it’s comforting to have someone to turn to during these times, sometimes we should think twice before disclosing every intimate detail of our relationships to our girlfriends. When you divulge the bad aspects of your romantic relationships to others, it opens the way for them to offer their own opinions and judgments. And while our girlfriends think they are “keeping it real” with us and offering advice, sometimes they’re adding fuel to the fire of our insecurities, causing more drama than there should be.
“I wouldn’t tolerate that BS from him, girl.”
“You should leave him, he isn’t worth the headache.”
“I’d hate to see you wasting your time with that good for nothing SOB.”
We need to take personal responsibility for sharing the “bad” of our romantic relationships with our friends. Most of the mishaps we experience with our men are just that, mishaps. He didn’t call when he was supposed to. He had to cancel date night to work late. He wasn’t paying enough attention to you while you were out at a party. Sometimes the mishaps are larger. He may have cheated or didn’t come home when he was supposed to. No matter the magnitude, as an Alphanista it’s up to YOU to decide if it’s worth sticking it out, not your friends. You’re the one in the relationship, not them.
No one knows what’s going on with the two people in a relationship except for the people in it. Maybe you should leave him…or maybe you feel it’s worth working out. Either way, pause and take a minute to cool down before you throw your relationship under the bus to your friends. Allowing others to offer their opinion on your relationship while you’re upset can influence you to make rash decisions, making things worse than they have to be.
Guest Blogger Toi Duckworth is a sophisticated b-girl from Los Angeles who dishes on urban lifestyle topics via her blog, http://hiphopmuse.com.
Only 3 Days Left! Join the Alphanista Inner Circle II and don’t be left (stuck) out!
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Weekend Rewind: Do Women Cheat Better Than Men?
January 15, 2010
Nicole Murphy and Former Giants Michael Strahan Broke Up
This one made us think. Enjoy!
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Read this on Necole Bitchie this morning.
Ms. Murphy was able to get away from cheating on her Strahan for over a year. He installed a GPS device on her car and found out.
He’s an excerpt from the New York Post:
Things came to a head Feb. 20, after Spencer and Murphy took her Range Rover to a luxury dealership in Thousand Oaks, Calif.. Mechanics quickly discovered the tracking apparatus. “This is the second tracking device he’s had put in her car,” one source said. “This one was found behind the front dashboard.” Murphy and Spencer went to have lunch while the tracer — which one source said provided up-to-the-minute location status — was removed. Seconds later, Strahan barged into the garage, “yelling and screaming,” a source said. Spotting Murphy’s car with the tracking device exposed, Strahan walked over, ripped it off the dashboard and stormed out of the shop.
Is it possible this is what she did to sustain her “forever” marriage to Eddie Murphy (and we know that marriage was anything normal because of Eddie’s “ways”)?
Some say a man would’ve been caught long ago because of a woman’s intuition.
All I can say is Wow.
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