Weekend Rewind: Is It Goal-Digging or Gold Digging?

A classic! Don’t you like the play on words?

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What’s wrong with liking a man with money?  Not for money, but with money.

It’s not normally something most women flaunt.  They’re afraid to admit it, but why.  Men have no problem admitting they want a beautiful woman.  We all know there is more to a person, but for the short answer we list the attribute that is the most tangible, and sometimes, hardest to find.

I remember having this discussion with a “friend”.  We were having drinks one night, and I said, and he admitted he liked men with money, too.  Then we both busted out laughing.  Of course he does, he explained. He’s an investment banker and needs men with money to stay in business.  No brainer, he understood.

He told me the only men who have a problem with women who value money are broke men or fear-based men.  Fear based men think women will use or abuse them.  They have no confidence on the other things they can bring to a relationship.  But that evening, there was no judgement.  It was simple.  It made sense.  On another note, I said it to someone else, who labeled it as golddigging, a very “civilian” type of response.

You may find that the more you reveal yourself the more you weed out the men/women who just aren’t for you, who don’t get you. What most women do is hide themselves, then complain. How can you get anything if you don’t let the world know you’d like it?  A woman wanting a man with money has her own goals and plans.  It’s smells like ambition.

This got me to thinking.  How much is “having money” anyway?  Just enough money to pay the bills and have leftover for a vacation and endless On Demand rentals?  Or just enough to buy property, and build a business? It’s all relative.

At the end of the day, a man who is kind, loving is so much more fun with a few million in the bank.  A woman who is kind, loving is so much more fun if she’s nice to look at, too. Now don’t get me started on the men who target women with money, their own cars, homes, apartments.  And you know what? Live and let live.  It’s human nature to want someone who has the same or just a little more.

Alphanista Moment: Michelle Says Sit Down

As an alpha female at times it can hard to just “be”.

You watch your alpha male from afar and you beam at his success.  For a moment, you get to rest and let him do the work.  But when he throws the spotlight back on you, your alpha side comes back.  “Here we go” it says!  Time to put on the game face.  Last night, Michelle seemed understandably annoyed or overwhelmed at the applause.  She told Congress to sit down, and they did.

But like an alpha female, we still like her for it.

No (Real) Hope And Change

By Guest Blogger Zabeth

Obama is not a savior he’s a politician. If you don’t see that by now- I don’t know what to tell you.

It was annoying last Tuesday night listening to people explain away Republican Senator Scott Brown’s  win in Massachussets. Instead of looking at the situation as a referendum on Obama’s presidency and what is and isn’t working, people made it about racism and sexism, referencing the old adage that “Black people have to work twice as hard and blah blah.”

Someone described Brown’s win as the “revenge of Sarah Palin;” but that begs the question, are Obama, Brown, and Palin that much different? Are their qualifications and legislative experiences that varied? Another person tweeted “Sometimes I feel that the mainstream media is invested in having Pres. Obama fail.” The mainstream media has consistently been in the tank for Obama- they helped him win the election. CNN even fact checked a Saturday Night Live skit about Obama. Obama wouldn’t have won the presidency without the support of the media and a substantial number of white people. This isn’t about racism or the media it’s about Obama not living up to the hype.

The fact that Obama has backed away from many campaign promises can no longer be ignored. We’re still in Iraq and Afghanistan- with a troop surge. The future of Guantanamo is in question. Regarding health care, Obama promised that the debate would be open and moderated by the people; closed door and back room deals are what we got instead.

In his first month in office Obama outspent Bush, plunging the country further into debt. Instead of owning up to the economic problems facing the country he continues to blame the previous administration. This is not to say that the Bush administration isn’t at fault, but at some point you must take responsibility for your policies and decisions and how well they have and/or haven’t worked. Obama further discredited himself by appointing a man who couldn’t pay his own taxes as head of the Treasury- a man who couldn’t (or wouldn’t) pay his taxes is now responsible for establishing tax policy. For someone who believes in “spreading the wealth” Obama certainly has a hard time finding policy makers who put that theory into practice.

Too many African Americans think that because we now have a black president all of our problems will be solved- this without doing any individual self reflection. This type of mindset is dangerous. It’s no surprise that the Black community is still largely in the same situation we were in in 2009. Obama was elected as America’s president, therefore his focus will be issues of prime importance to the country and not African American issues alone. He can’t afford to show favoritism.

Obama has lost clout for many reasons. It’s even becoming questionable whether or not his own party still respects him. The Republican win in Massachusetts signals a change in American politics; disenchanted Americans who were promised hope and change but instead got more of the same.

To find out more about this guest blogger, please go to http://zabethblog.blogspot.com/.

POLL: Is It OK To Blast Someone On A BillBoard Who Did You Wrong?

Last week, there was some major news about a sister who blasted her millionaire sugar daddy on some NYC billboards.

It was an 8 year affair and he, the CEO of Oracle and a member of the Obama administration, broke it off recently.  As expected, she blacked out.  Women cheered her on as a woman scorned and the man got what he deserved.  However, the only loser is this mistress.  This man is still married, and now his wife knows that her husband wasn’t lying about how crazy is this mistress.   Next, they’ll both take out a restraining order out on her and she’ll end up in a straight jacket–no man, no love, no babies, just her damn billboards.  What did she do with all that money she was getting?  I do hope she banked some of it.  And ladies, the point of getting this money is to meet a single suitor in the meantime, not to be faithful to your married man.

He was certainly thinking about his future, she was not.

Weekend Rewind: Signs of a High Maintenance Man

A high maintenance needs lots of reassurance and attention, just like a high maintenance woman.  Sometimes, he’s mistaken for a metrosexual, but he’s not into primping as much.   He’s a co-dependent people pleaser.  Folks have little respect for him, that is why he relies 110% on others.  He’s a bloodsucker, girl.  Watch out!

1)    He’s jealous of your mama, friends, and family

2)    He’s constantly asking your opinion doesn’t do anything without you

3)    He’s overweight, watch out for these types they need food and attention to feel good about themselves

4)    He has more than one child from different women

5)    He’s born again (again)

6)    He’s unhappy at work

7)    He’s over 40 and ingrained in his ways

8)    He’s hardly ever alone, and hates being by himself.  His friends consider him a follower, or someone you can’t take seriously.

9)    He wants to have “talks” over things you said that you already forgot about that may have “bothered” him  (he’s super neurotic)

10) He corrects your speech all the time

11) He’s holier than thou and believes he is better than most men  in sex and communication

12) You meet him in a department store beauty counter, the nail salon, or eyebrow threading place

13) He owns a nervous, barking yapping dog (dog is actually sick of him too)

14) He prefers the city penthouse as opposed to a cottage by the sea, nothing too rustic

15) He cannot let go of past relationships and stalks them on their own blog, over and over again, please leave me alone and go into the light

Well, have you met a high maintenance man?

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