Is Anyone Else Pissed At Rihanna?

By Guest Blogger Denitra Samuels

What Rihanna did to Chris Brown is insane.

The other day she was standing all smug in the courtroom like a complete airhead. Now the system has to come in and tell them how far, how close, and how to wipe their behinds until further notice. I mean, really? All because this girl could not keep her hands to herself. Where is her anger management classes, community service, probation? She hit a man, and that set it off. If women are going to be claiming rights and equal stats and all of that, they need to withstand equal treatment. So, now she’s gallivanting with a new boy toy. Looking sillier by the day. I hope she does not come out with any type of “Independent Woman” songs because she is far from independent thinking. Once you let the courts and systems into your life, they never leave, you are NEVER independent.

Where is her next album? Where is her charity work? What else is she doing with her life? At least with others like Beyonce and ‘em, you see them getting around and spreading positive messages via charities and organizations. If Rihanna was going to be the victim in this debacle, then her PR person should have had her do a few after school promos about domestic violence and maybe open a center or 1800 numbers for abused women. She didn’t. Because that didn’t happen!

Guest Blogger Denitra Samuels is a graduate student of criminal justice at a local college in NYC.

Alphanista Watch: Teyana Taylor

[Editor's Note: We're Still Watching Bonified "Alphanista" Status Not Confirmed] By Guest Blogger, Goldie

Dear Teyana Taylor,

I get it! You want to be comfortable in your skin and show your Billionaire Boys Club rep. However, you are a woman now. One with great boobs, nice shaped butt and abs one would kill for. So why do you dress like a boy?

Ladies, I’d like to dissect Teyana Taylor’s style. A product of Harlem and dancing, she definitely has displayed confidence and skill in her career. However, she isn’t getting the hype she deserves. She has a unique voice and approach to music. My only concern is she dresses like a boy. I know she’s probably saying, “This is me. I won’t conform to society’s views of what a young singer should look like.” Yet and still she is working in an industry that requires one to be liked by society because society buys your product, you!

Look at someone who SHOULD be her competition, Rihanna. Yes I know they are two different artists but if Teyana took her image seriously, they would be sharing record sales. Rihanna has been carefully crafted. She wears the hottest, funkiest, yet feminine gear to date. Even when Rihanna wears sneakers you can see the difference in how people accept it. They do not post her candids as much on blogs and they most certainly don’t have as many inquiries, curious about who makes her wardrobe pieces. Shouldn’t that let Teyana know something? To be accepted in the music industry one has to dress the part.

The hair, proud and big, can stay. But the jeans and sneakers with a flannel top simply will not do. We, the people can simply skip a few aisles down and see Day 26 for all that.

As soon as she donned a Herve Leger dress and heels there was more attention paid. Then when she recently styled her own shoot wearing sexy garb and “pumping gas” at a old run-down gas station she looked HOT! She has a great body and it was about time she showed that off.

Women need to dress like women and stop being “one of the boys”. It’s an age old tale, they treat you like a brother, without giving you a second look. Teyana, please! Trade those sweats for a mini skit and sneaks for heels. It will do you some good!

Guest blogger Goldie Goldie is a Public Relations student interested in Fashion Publicity and Reporting. Find out more at www.goldlabeler.com.

The Power Of Auto-Suggestion

Before I get into the details, let me just say that these things and methods really don’t matter unless your back is up against the wall.

If your life is fine and dandy, you may not care.  But if you are going through something, and have tried every way possible, it’s time to try something that’s free.  Something you can do at night before bed.  This is far more intricate than affirmations, which are powerful in and of itself.  Autosuggestion can change the direction of your life.

Most folks know about it through hypnotists who “suggest” things to a “sleepy” person and the person begins to act on it.  What’s happening is that the person is acting out what their subconscious mind is picking up on.  When you use auto-suggestion, you are merely suggesting things or ideas to yourself.    In turn, you’ll begin to act them out.  We auto-suggest stuff to ourselves all the time: “I am tired” “I hate driving” “I always lose”  “People don’t like me”  “I’m broke.”  Then we live these experiences.  Everything you do is controlled by suggestions.

Why not suggest things to yourself that can make your life better?  It takes practice, but if your life depended on it, you’d do it.  Okay, maybe just half of you would.  Because, again, it can take a while and make you lose patience.  You shouldn’t do it alone, but alongside a good friend, or book that shows you how.

*Danielle S., who is currently using this method explains it like this:

I needed money.  The rent was two months past due.  I prayed and prayed and didn’t understand why things weren’t happening.  It was like I was asking for the opposite in my prayer because I kept getting more of the bad.  So, I did what you said, and strange stuff starting to go down like that night!  I had 3 great ideas, including one crazy one that said send my photo to casting directors!  I was like,  what?!  I had stopped doing that years ago and was just focusing on getting jobs that pay the rent while I study makeup and fashion.  Anyway, I signed up for this service online that sends your photo out, and low and behold I got an audition to be the host of a talk show on a small local cable show.  I got the audition and they chose me!  This was all in 5 days because when I signed up for consideration it was the day before the deadline.  The money came in and I got the money, I paid 2 months arrears immediately, and still had left over!”

“Autosuggestion” is also the third chapter of the book, Think and Grow Rich for obvious reasons.  If you use it properly you’ll begin to get hunches, gut feelings, and certain inspirations to act on things.  You must act on these things.   Other ways you can use auto-suggestion is by changing your tone of voice when communicating with others, and I touched on that last week.  An alphanista is always about using methods that most people dismiss or misunderstand.  She’s about getting “there” by any means neccessary.

Of course, we will further explore this in the Alphanista Inner Circle.   For more information on using certain methods (all legal!) to change the course of your life, Fill Out The Info Below!

*name changed for privacy

Strike Out On Your Own!

By Guest Blogger Toi

Personal relationships are wonderful, fulfilling, and valuable.   They are essential to your well being as a person. But as an Alphanista, you should not rely on others for every. little. thing.

If you want to create new experiences for yourself, do NOT wait on other people to go with you to do so. It’s fine to go it alone. As a matter of fact, you should create new experiences for yourself, by yourself.

It’s unreasonable to expect others to be with you in every single thing you do.  There are some women who can’t even go to the restroom on their own. Do they need someone to chat with while they pee? That’s a small scale example but it shows the reluctance some women have about striking out on their own to do the simplest of things. I know people who feel like they need to have someone with them every time they shop, eat, or attend events. These are things an Alphanista needs to be able to do on her own. Waiting on others to get themselves together tends to slow the Alphanista down. If you aren’t ready to go with her, she will go on without you. An Alphanista doesn’t wait on other people to get themselves together when she’s ready to go. Get right or get left.

This goes for family, friends, romantic partners. Your boyfriend may hate shopping. He goes in, purchases his items, and is out of the mall in 15 minutes, tops. So why drag him on your Saturday afternoon shopping excursions when you are a hunter-shopper who likes to browse stores for hours? Go it alone, and take as much time as you need without feeling rushed and annoying your partner. Or, you love underground alternative soul music. Your buddies only listen to mainstream popular music. Leave them at home and go to the show. If they aren’t into it, it would be a waste of time and money for them to attend. Treat yourself to the show and enjoy yourself, uninhibited.

When you strike out on your own to create new experiences, the universe tends to take care of you. You are forced to rely on your own instincts and make decisions for yourself, making you more well-rounded and sure of yourself.  You begin to see that can you can take care of yourself.

I’m not minimizing the importance of social interaction. Spending time and energy with others is fantastic, wonderful, and necessary. But so is grabbing the reigns of your life and spending time and energy creating new experiences with yourself. This is how you develop a strong sense of self, it’s a part of self-love. After all, you spend the most time with yourself.

Cherish it.

Toi Duckworth is a sophisticated b-girl from Los Angeles who dishes on urban lifestyle topics via her blog, http://hiphopmuse.com.

My Let Go Plan: Tired of Being Single!

By Guest Blogger, Anastasia Simpson

I was asked to write about my experience as I work on a new method to bring me the relationship I want.  I’m not the best writer, however, I felt it could help people who are stuck.

I’m a 32 year old woman, educated, work as a legal secretary, had a long term relationship that ended recently, live alone, somewhat struggling financially like most of us are in this economy, but still making it.  I don’t drink, I don’t party much anymore, and I am basically at home, with family, or an occasional event.  I’m like most women out there just living life best she can.

Fact is, I don’t want to go out anymore.  Things just feel worse, seem harder when I go out.  I’m not just going out to have fun alone.  Been doing that since I was clubbing at 18!  Let’s be real.  I rather spend my weekend in the arms of a loving man, watching a movie, cooking a meal together, or just being “alone” together–he do his thing, and I do my mine.  I am going out to meet my husband.  So, imagine how hard it is everytime I go out to come out and zilch, nada, zip.   My friends are slowly starting to agree with me after their own denial that we should “have fun” until we meet the one.  And that we “can’t look or we never find”.   I’m sorry, but that’s bullshit!  I met a lot of women who met a man WHILE looking.

Anyway I decided not to fight against this anymore.  Somehow I figured out that I don’t have control over that wonderful man coming into my life, but I can control MYSELF.  That is why I bought the 9 Tuesdays: Let Go Plan a few months ago.  When it came on the blog, I first wanted to see what folks were saying before I purchased it.  Then, I did, and didn’t use it until now.  It sat in my room for 2 months!

Then another one of those looooong weekends, I looked at it, started reading and made a commitment.  What I was tripping over was, here was a tool I could use, and I didn’t want to use it.  Almost, like I didn’t want it to work.  Like I wanted to be single!  I’ve always felt I was battling another part of me, a part of me that wants to hold me down in life, while the other, smaller part in me, keeps me afloat.  I normally listen to the former.  But this time, I did the right thing.

I’m in my 6th Tuesday.  Wish I would’ve have started blogging about this earlier, but I was really going through alot of emotions.   I emailed Maryann, just the other day when I ran into a “mystery” man at a charity event in NYC.   He is well known in his industry, successful, and known to be a good catch around these parts.   I met this man late last year for the first time.   I lost his number, and I didn’t give him mine.   We met at a similiar event because he sits on the Board of Directors of a major company.  Anyway, I was so down because it wasn’t likely I’d meet him again.

But on my 2nd Tuesday of the treatments, I did.  He recognized me right away, we talked, and went to dinner right after.  We talk everyday, we are so in sync.  I actually think this is the first man in a long time where he asks me questions, offers to help me, shares his thoughts and vulnerabilities.   I always found myself teaching men what little I knew.   He IS more advanced than I am emotionally, and in almost every other area, but the kitchen    This weekend, I had a group date with us and his sister’s husband.  (I think I am being evaluated and I like it!)  I was even over his father’s house this weekend for Father’s Day.

Whew.  I am continuing the treatments because I am not clear on what this all means that’s why I called him the “mystery” man.  It’s happening pretty fast, but I was told that would happen.  But let me put it this way. I have not been on a real date in 1 year, haven’t had sex in TWO because I wasn’t meeting any men I liked.  That right there should tell you some powerful shifts are going on in my world.  And I’m glad I had took a chance to do something different.

I will continue to blog about my experience.

Anastasia lives in NYC.  For more information about her, just keep reading. From time to time, women will blog about their experiences using the Let Go Plan.

For any questions email me at maryann@alphanista.com or fill out he info below for FREE weekly relationship tips if you’re not quite ready yet to take the leap!

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