Don’t Be A Chicken At The BBQ…

By Guest Blogger, Goldie

Ladies, I seem to notice a plethora of women at cookouts wearing ill fitting attire.

Shapeless tanks that only enhance the shapeless bra along with khaki shorts in funky lengths and flat sandals that do nothing but make your toes look long. That, alphanistas, is not our way of life. I’d like to extend my vision of a perfect barbecue outfit.

When I see myself going to a gathering outdoors I instantly think 50’s retro. Take it back to a full skirted sundress or a thin plaid shirt and capris . Both of these fabulous outfits can be worn with wedges.

Now, I’m quite aware of different styles that are suitable with these events so I’ll continue on past my own liking. Think light, this is the one time where a little bit of matronly garb can look appealing.
When you walk in with your pretty little linen dress and embellished flats, all eyes will be on your arrival. A maxi dress in a graphic print (not solid) will seize the day. A long tank dress, and loosely tied leather belt will enhance, enhance, enhance.

I urge you to ponder above and beyond the “wal-mart” wardrobe the other women have adopted for this occasion. Just because the crowd will be carefree doesn’t mean you have to be careless.

Guest blogger Goldie Goldie is a Public Relations student interested in Fashion Publicity and Reporting. Find out more at www.goldlabeler.com.

POLL: Do You Think Men Really Like Independent Women?

I was having this conversation the other day, and my answer was NO.

Mostly because “independent” women talk about being independent so much that they stay that way.

On the other hand, there may be a few men who like women who can do things for themselves and are only around to “enhance” not necessarily to “make” or “to do.”

If a woman can be independent and still be vulnerable, she’ll be one of the few who have a good, fulfilling relationship.

Thoughts?

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Advice Update: Single Girl Doing Things Right

This is a classic!  This was BEFORE 9 Tuesdays was even an ebook, but just shared among a close group of my friends who I trusted would value it.  Enjoy!

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Below is an email excerpt from Sherri with an update. With the hectic holiday season, she was able to send something which I appreciate.  If you’re reading this, please send your updates if you received advice.  Here’s her original question:

I’ve been single for 4 years.  In that time I got my Bachelors a certificate in nursing I moved to my own place and I finally began paying down my debt.  That makes 4 years of focusing on me me me.  Reading the self help helpbooks, attending classes (I know, I know ) and all that good stuff to make me a better girlfriend or wife.  Everday also, I’ve been going to the Starbucks downstairs from my job at the same time because that is where two of my friends met their current boyfriends and they are great men.

Why can’t that happen to me? Everybody thinks I am so together and happy since my life has changed alot in the past years.  But time has flown by and it looks like I will be spending New Years’ Eve all alone again.  I’m not saying that I want a man to come into my life and go ahead and fix it and make it all gravy because I know it’s not that easy.

I’m just saying that it would be nice to at least talk to someone on the phone and go to the movies here and there.  I’m patient enough to let things build.  I’ve been doing everything right, I’m also in shape and eat healthy (minus the Starbucks), why can’t I just attract a good man?  Why cant I just get it this part right finally?

Lost,
Sherri

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Sorry it took a minute to get back to the blog with what happened.  So, I tried the “treatments”.  I had never done anything like that before.  EVER. The closest thing I ever did to letting go of me wanting a relationship so badly was basically drinking or crying myself to sleep. I left some details out from my advice question.

After that didn’t work I got a life coach.  It was gift from my mother.  She helped me put things in focus but it was the same ole same ole–do this, do that, then do this, do that.  Basically the ideas I could have came up with myself. But my mother paid for it and at least she held me accountable.  I had to report back to coach and sometimes I messed up because I knew she’d give me something else that was hopefully better.  Anyway, when I stopped that I was on my own again, back to normal slowed down with the partying.  It got bad when my best friend met someone. I didn’t hear from her, and she upped and married him right away.  They are happy.  He treats her like gold.

So I was frustrated again.  But I kept myself up and focused though I wasn’t meeting anyone.  I was so close to giving up until I found this site.  After I emailed you, and tried what you told me, it was crazy.  I mean exes started coming out the woodwork.  Two called me, but I kept on.  Then I started meeting more men just doing simple stuff like washing my car, going to Starbucks, etc.  Around week 3 or 4, I felt so good and strong within myself.  I wasn’t scared anymore.  I felt like I already had a man in my life with what you told me to try.  Even my mother was shocked.  I’m on week 4 now.

I am dating someone right now that is unlike any man I’ve met.  We connected through a friend of my uncle.  About the first week I started the “treatments”, I was at my uncle because I was upset about the care center I was working at.  My uncle told me his new girlfriend’s son is a doctor and works at this big hospital and may be able to send my resume.  He was coming by to pick up his mother at my uncle’s house that night.  My uncle told me I could give my resume to him then.  I was like, okay.  Big, geek for sure.  Probably with glasses.  Whatever, man, I needed a job….When I opened the door to let him in, all I see was this handsome, 6′4, about 230 pound brown skinned man in front of me.  No doctor of mine ever looked like he did.  We went to the movies later that weekend and we have been talking everyday since.

I have 5 more Tuesdays with the “treatments” that I plan to finish. It also helps me stay focused without getting too excited.  I was single for 4 years.  No man.  This is almost like dreamy to me.  I’m 32, learned a few things….I know it in my heart this man is special.  We are taking it slow, if we can stand it.  He’s already invited me to spend New Year’s Eve with him at his home, something nice and romantic like I had always wanted.  And I am. He asked me since early December about it.  I’m going to finish the “treatments” and keep them…. I didn’t realize how much of my own power I was neglecting…. Oh, yeah, he did get a chance to pass my resume on.  He’s also a Starbucks nut like me. Thank you again, Sherri.

For the original post, please go to Advice: Single Girl Doing Things Right.

For more information on what Sherri used, Fill Out The Info Below or click on 9 Tuesdays!

Would You Leave Your Family For Love?

I was on Twitter the other day and I asked:   If u fell in love would u move 2 a new city, leave your old family behind to marry your sweetheart? Would anyone NOT move?

I was pleasantly surprised by the responses!  Sometimes, when we ask for love, we have no control over how it comes.  Love has no boundaries or borders!  Or does it?   See some of the responses:

EricDonDivaMag@MaryannReid I would if it was necessary. My family and friends would understand

Go_Getter@MaryannReid that means it would have to be a long distance relationship at some point…I would do all that once he put a ring on it lol

Jubilance1922@MaryannReid I left all my family behind in MI when I moved to MN, then GA, & now FL, so I have no problem moving for love

nukirk@MaryannReid I’ve done it once. I won’t do it again, tho.

BookLoveHer@MaryannReid I wouldn’t move. They would have to come to me. I own my home…not leaving unless they bought me a new house where they live.

JamilahCreekmur@MaryannReid would depend on a few things: length of time dating. Career opps in new city. Distance from family. Mutual love from him.

KrystalRenee24 Absolutely….Sometimes you have to move on to make it. @core_APPLER @MaryannReid

Thoughts?

R.I.P. Michael, True Fans Never Deserted You

Whether he was black or white, he was Michael.

He was entitled to change his face, his color, or wear pajamas to court.

Let’s just let him rest in peace, even though the very people who are praising him now, or those that caused him lots of pain.

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