Alphanista Hall Of Fame: Desiree Rogers

Okay, she is bit more cookie-cutter than who I usually post.

She hasn’t been arrested, drugged, beaten, or become President of a foreign country.  Desiree Rogers only has one of the largest dating pools of powerful men ever to behoove a Black woman in history.

Desiree Rogers is the social secretary of the White House and in charge of all special events and planning from state dinners to gala affairs.  Here’s a little background on the 49 year-old Rogers from the Huffington Post:

Rogers, who studied at Wellesley College and later earned an MBA from Harvard, was once married to Chicagoan John Rogers, Ariel Capital Management chief and another close Obama friend and fundraiser.  Her first highly visible post was in state government. She managed the lottery for then-Gov. Jim Edgar in the ’90s, appearing on TV giving away pots of money.

So Desiree Rogers didn’t get the job replying to an ad, it’s a “who you know” kinda spot, which makes her even more fire.  I like that because being fishing in the right waters is essential for survival.  Next, one of the major winners in Roger’s new post is her 18 year-old daughter, a student at Yale, who will be in the troughs of successful men.  I hope she taught her wisely to do what mama did.  Marry well.  She’ll have invitations to the best soirees.  In these type of waters, I guarantee her daughter will follow her mama’s footsteps.

In light of all this, I nominate Desirée Glapion Rogers into the Alphanista Hall of Fame simply because of her nice climb.   But was it much of a climb with a millionaire ex-husband and a Harvard MBA?

Yay or nay?

ADVICE: In Between Two “Good” Men

I’ve broken up with my emotionaly draining boyfriend.

I’ve allowed men to take me out and  I’m looking for charities to attend. I’m on a roll. However, I don’t know what to do about this particular older white gentlemen. He’s a bit loud for my taste and screaming “mid life crisis” but I enjoy the lifestyle he brings.There’s also a music-industry-behind-the-scenes guy, that I’m pretty cool with. I am interested in them both for the lifestyle obviously. Anyways, there’s an event this coming friday that I will be attending. Now I asked my OWG if he would like to accompany me, but now my Industry Buff says he will be attending as well.

They both know I am dating other people  but I don’t feel like paying them both attention to save face. Should I cancel with OWG on Friday(I have a date with him tonight anyways) and just let this Industry buff be my date? Or dammit, let them both bump into each other? Or go by my damn self?

Sugarbaby in Crisis,

Diamond

Dear Diamond:

You are technically still single, right?

If you can carry an evening with two gentleman who are interested, do it.  You should do it with finesse, by going alone, and meet your date there.  If you come in with someone, it makes you look tied down for the rest of the night. If you do that, then best to tell them both you are flying solo.  Keep in mind, there could be more prospects at this party.

I’ve written for Baller Alert about this very issue.  If there is a “monied” party with high prospects you may never meet again, the last thing you want to do is look taken or occupied.  At the same time, you want to appear desirable to other prospects there.   Make the $1500 ticket worth it!  It’s not to come with someone you just started seeing to get in the way.  You can go with him only if he paid.  Then become a social butterfly leaving him to wander about while you meet other people.  If you go alone, you’ll seem available because you came alone, and most importantly desirable because you will already know two gentlemen that are there, which will provide you lots of opp to smile, talk, fling your hair and catch someone’s eye.  Men like women other men like–period.  That’s why a woman with a man is more likely to attract man than a single gal.  Try it walking down the street one day.

Anyway, if you are ready to play that game, the quickest way to do it is to increase your numbers.   In the civilian world, it takes more time with the right guy.  But in the money world, it just takes more energy.  For example, if you have 3 prospects, it’s very likely (if you do it right) one will lock it down with you in a matter of weeks.  Those men like to move quick, every deal is potential close.  Never settle to be a lease, always be a buy.

From Alphanista w/Love,

MR

Alphanistas Are Not Fat!

By Guest Blogger Sonia aka Ms. Stiletto

Or are they?

Of the successful women that I meet, most of them have a body proportionate to their height and are NOT overweight. THese women know that taking care of business not only includes the outside business world it also means taking care of themselves physically. They take pride in their physical appearance and are willing to do the work necessary to maintain such an attractive physique. That includes making healthy food choices.

But sometimes, dinner is the last thing on a busy Alphanistaʼs mind after a long day of ruling the world. Even though many of us donʼt make the time to exercise, we can still do our best at maintaining a healthy diet. And a healthy diet can be achieved by making conscious food choices when one eats out. If you go to a fast food place to pick up dinner, skip the Burgers and Fries and try the garden salad with a vinaigrette. Cream Based dressing sometimes contain just as much fat as the hamburger.

This method also applies to takeout food in most restaurants. When choosing a menu item, consider grilled or baked items as opposed to fried. Skip the appetizer and know that an entree is filling unto itself. Portion control is a major factor in peopleʼs unhealthy eating habits.
Overall small changes in eating habits can make big differences in your body.

And that extra energy will help the you make even more changes in the world.

Crab and Cucumber Wraps

(from the Four Ingredient Cookbook by Joanna Farrow)

Ingredients:

• 1/2 cucumber
• 1 lb lump crabmeat cleaned (can also use canned)
• 4 small wheat tortillas
• 8 Tbsp. hoisin sauce

Recipe:

• Slice cucumber lengthwise into small even-sized pieces. Put crabmeat into a small mixing bowl and add salt and pepper to taste.
• Mix lightly.
• Heat heavy skillet over medium flame and place tortilla in one at a time and cook untilthey begin to color on each side. 1 1/2-3 mins.
• Spread tortilla with hoisin sauce and place cucumber and crabmeat on top. Then roll it up and serve immediately.

ENJOY.

Guest Blogger is a stockbroker turned chef. She can be found at www.ediblechef.com.

Grab Life By The…Paper Clips

In an earlier blog, it was noted that in order to attract what we want in life–be it ideal home, partner, weight, looks, etc–we have to be organized.

Really organized.   Especially, when it’s the only weapon you have.

As I write this, I’m sitting in a sea of envelope, receipts, papers, books that all need to be filed.  It’s cumbersome and exhausting.  Well, it’s not exactly a “sea” but it feels like it because I love order.   I have everything I need to do the right thing, but I haven’t completed it.  Flylady.net is a website I’ve mentioned several times and they have a featured called a Control Journal.  In a previous Michelle Obama post, I wrote about how she likes writing lists and considers herself an organized, structured person.  An admirable trait.

So, on Flylady.net it tells you to list your routines in one book that gives you “control”.  You can refer to the control journal when you do anything related to any home or personal objectives.  It’s not just a place to keep all your stuff–stamps, post-it notes, change, paper clips, money, her credit cards, and drivers license, library cards, etc. –but also a mirror of life.   If you want all the things you desire to come in on calm ships then you need order and routines.   You don’t have to be  perfectionist.  It’s flexible.  I may have 5-10, you may have only 1-3.   If your daily routine just consists of brushing and bathing, those are just the basics.  So life will deliver you just the basics–food, shelter, clothing in miniscule amounts you can manage.   But if you create a larger space and aptitude, you’ll begin to attract extras, abundance, surprises, and other things that may surpass your imagination at this time.

If you want desires to come to you at a “bad time” or violently fulfilled then keep running around with your head cut off talking about how busy you are.   Take a breath and a pen.  Go to to Flylady and start your control journal.  Let me know how it goes.  May start an Alphanista FlyLady thing soon.

An alphanista doesn’t wait for “perfect” conditions she creates them.  Are you?

ADVICE: Married Women Are Evil

I’ve been tryin’ to figure this out for the longest!

I am single, 27, around my married friends some older some younger.  One by one they all started slipping away as soon as they got married.  Some of us went to school together and we were tight before.  Okay, I do understand that when you are married you have more things to do and your family becomes the priority.  But the only times I hear from these chicks now is through the mail or email with photos of their babies and what not.  When I reply or send a gift or acknowledgement they never reply.

So, I stopped.  But it bugged me.  It hurt me.  So, I have two married friends that live near me, and everytime I ask them about hooking me up with somebody single they know (and they know!) it’s always, “You are okay by yourself.  You can’t rush things.  You have to be patient.” Excuse my language.  But I’m like BITCH, I want someone like you have.  They laugh.

I’m not a scrub, I am beautiful, have won several awards, have a nice apartment decent car, great job tech consultant job, and men come at me all the time.  I just am tired of dating random strangers.  Okay, so when we’re on the phone and I’m talking about what kind of man I want they discourage me that I am thinking crazy and I need to learn to accept my life as a single person until the right man comes.  Can you believe this?  I am asking for help.  These are supposed to be my friends.  I can’t wait to get married to show them how to treat others.  It’s like they don’t want me to get married.  Are they jealous?  Is that possible?  They have like a haughty attitude, sort of elitist and I can’t stand it!

So through.
Jade

_________________________________________________________

Dear Jade:

This is really hurting you, and you have every right to be pissed at them.

You know this is one of the most unspoken issues among women.  Granted there are married women who want to help or hook friends up, but there are many more who don’t.  Many married women and, some have told me this themselves, believe that they are better than single people.  In most people’s mundane lives, being married is the pinnacle of their existence.  It makes them “unique”.  If you take that away, they are nothing again.

You, Jade, may be like that woman that they want to be, wanted to be or their husband would date.  It does sound like you have a lot going on for you, so you have many things to be proud of and speak about.  They are probably wondering why do you need any more blessings.  Look, I’m being raw here.  These are day to day feelings most people don’t talk about.  They don’t want someone to have more than they do.  It boils down to a feeling of lack.  Like there isn’t enough happiness to go around.  If I hook her up, and she gets happier than me, then what does that say about me?  What do I do?  No one wants to explain this.

Now, you know I gotta bring it back.  Years ago, women used to look out for women when it came to men.  Suggesting this guy that guy.  Having little parties.  Hooking up their single girls, etc.  It was in order.  They believed there were lots of men, everybody deserved one.

But as soon as talks of “shortages” and “all the good ones are taken” comes up, everybody grabs on to theirs.  If you get married, then they have someone else to compete with.  You’ll take them out of their comfort zone of “being better than”.  These are not true friends.  True friends who are happy, want to spread it around to everyone, even strangers.

This is not to say that married women are obligated to do anything.  They don’t have to hook their friends up.  But as in most situations that a friend would need help—with a job, party planning, babysitting, it’s expected that they would help here.

Finally, stop asking these type of married friends to hook you up.  Don’t give them the satisfaction of seeing you single and wanting what they have.  Live your life, find alternative (non random methods) to bring that man in your life because you will.  Let’s see how many friends you’ll have then?

From Alphanista w/love

MR

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