WEEKEND REWIND: Food Is Not The Enemy!

One of my favorite topics from the vault!  Enjoy!

When you’re blue, think about food.

I am so bored with the whole “food is the enemy” advertising that we have to watch every single bit of it that goes in to our mouths.  Even at McDonald’s they have the calorie counts listed.  Every moment of eating is a decision, a fleeting moment of guilt for many people.  What happened to food helping you feel good.  What’s so wrong with that?  When the therapist runs off, the friends are busy, the husband is away, we can indulge, even for a day.  Be good to ourselves.  Here’s another way to look at: FREE FOOD!  FREE YOURSELF!

Below are some of my favorite comfort foods, when it’s up to us to comfort our own selves and be good to us.  This can take many forms, but I’m focusing on food.  I took some ideas from There Goes the Bride: Making Up Your Mind, Calling it Off and Moving On. I don’t know what’s in these foods, if some are even considered “food”, but enjoy anyway.  Whether you’re feeling blue because of a job, money, a girl, a guy, your health, your dog, your parents, your neighbor, or your parole officer, throw caution to the wind for:

1.  Mac N Cheese with bits of cornbread sprinkled on top

2.  Pour a cup of instant mashed potatoes into a bowl.  Cover with a can of mushroom soup and a little water.  Microwave for 90 seconds.  Fast and filling.  (TGTB)

3.  Grilled cheese sandwich (make sure the bread is Rye)

4.  McDonald’s french fries (TGTB)

5.  Stew in a crockpot (TGTB)

6.  Popeyes two piece chicken w/2 biscuits or chicken biscuit sandwich

7.  Doritos and salsa (TGTB)

8.  Cookie dough ice cream

9.  Margarita (3 please)

10.  Take out! (preferably the traditional fried rice w/chicken and curry puffs from the Thai spot)

What else?

Weekend Rewind: How To Control A Relationship Through Silence

One of our infamous posts!  Enjoy!

This is not for all women.

If you’re naturally loud and gregarious, perhaps, that’s how you always will be.  This is for women who want to try a different approach in a relationship no matter what their personality.  I’ve been researching this type of relationship after I received an email from a woman who said she was unhappy with her relationship with a passive, resigned, but loving man.

I spoke to women who live in “silence” with confidence and a quiet ambition.  They are normally in relationships with men who accept this kind of submissive behavior.

You cannot force a man to accept your submission.  He has to be a man secure enough to carry the relationship and would most likely be more experienced than you in this area, whereas, he would not abuse it or overplay his hand.  Too many men think they can handle this.  Who can’t handle a quiet, submissive woman? Any man who asks that is NOT the man to be with in this kind of relationship.

The silence I’m speaking of is not vocal silence.  It’s a silence based on trust.  It’s a silence of the mind, where you are emotionally still from controlling every aspect of the relationship.

Here’s an example:  The sun shines bright all day long.  Bright, loud, nurturing the soil, plants, and providing energy.  The moon sits on the other side all day, sometimes you can see it, sometimes you don’t.  It rises quietly by the smooth transfer of bright light to dark.   The moon shines, too, but in the darkness.  A steady, quiet shine throughout the night over the earth that provides the same light and energy as the sun—but in a different way.   The moon represents the woman in the relationship.  She is there always.

She’s not like other women, who continuously need to have the man in their life re-affirm their love on a regular basis and validate their ideas and opinions.  If they do not get the response they planned, they’re disappointed.  They can be manipulative and blame others for their unhappiness. The need to respond to every matter in the relationship makes these women stand in the same shoes as their man.  And we all know, only one foot can fit in a shoe at a time.

A submissive woman is not subservient.  She has made a powerful choice to submit herself to a man who respectfully accepts her submission.  He sees it as a gift.  He feels blessed by it.  It complements who he is.  Through her silence she emotionally defines him and he depends on her more than any other kind of relationship.

Her silence contributes to a sense of security and safety in the relationship for both.  This is not a 50/50 relationship, but two whole parts 100/100.  Their bond is like no other relationship because she is completely owned by him and dominated by him.  Her silence sustains the domination until she stops being silent.  Though very few women I’ve talked to leave this lifestyle.

Here’s what submissive women say:

1. Trusting and obeying your man should be a sign of pride; it should be a mutually agreed upon relationship, where the two of you respect its boundaries

2. He must be everything to you, and you to him; you should make him happy, his happiness is yours

3. Your mind is his to explore and expand as only as he can

4. You learn only what he wants to tell and teach you

5. Only give yourself to a man who has the strength to handle this; You have to choose wisely because if you choose the wrong man you can be in big trouble; It should be a man who is very skilled in dominant/submissive roles and won’t take it for granted.   This is not for daters, but for long-term relationships.

Choose wisely, and choose love.

Don’t Trust Your Girlfriend With Your Man?

Here is a point from Blogxilla’s 30 Reasons Why Some Women Ain’t Shish.

I highlighted this one because I think it needed special pause:

1.  Now ladies, I’m sure you have at least one friend who you will never leave around your man, sure you love her to death but you don’t trust that trick around your man. Because you know she will suck him dry, ride him like the L train and probably [blank, blank, blank] first chance she can…..

I’ve seen #1 happen time and again.  Especially if the man is attractive, charming and paid.  And it’s usually the woman who claims she can never do this.  A recent poll on Alphanista found out that 24% of women would cheat with their best friend’s man if it was guaranteed she’d never find out.

If there are 30 reasons, I understand why this is number 1.  Hello, Tameka Foster befriending Chili and Usher, and stealing from under her nose.  Can women be trusted?  In this world, every woman for herself, or…..

The War Against Boys

Alphanista™ Book Big Up: The War Against Boys..

This book touched on the “war” in America against men and boys.   It highlights disparities in communication, education, and social treatment and adjustment of boys compared to girls.  It explains how most funding goes towards programs for girls, when in reality, boys are the ones in trouble.    What happens when you have a nation of troubled boys (later men)?  Chaos.

Here’s an excerpt from Amazon.com:

“It’s a bad time to be a boy in America,” writes Christina Hoff Sommers. Boys are less likely than girls to go to college or do their homework. They’re more likely to cheat on tests, wind up in detention, or drop out of school. Yet it’s “the myth of the fragile girl,” according to Sommers, that has received the lion’s share of attention recently, in hot-selling books like Mary Pipher’s Reviving Ophelia. When boys are discussed at all, it’s in the context of how to modify their antisocial behavior–i.e., how to make them more like girls.

I read this book some time ago and it confirmed my views that men are treated unfairly in America, probably more so than any other industrialized country.  They are made fun of, ridiculed, and depicted as clowns on commercials and sitcoms.  There’s always some woman scolding them, complaining her rights are being taken away or some other matter.  Men and women are pitted against each other as rivals.  This only hurts women. So crazy, only in America.

Alphanista Moment: Leave Michelle Alone!

I am about sick and tired of folks thinking the Obamas owe them something because they are Black.

We should know by now the Obamas don’t have any “Black” views or opinions and made that very clear throughout the campaign.  They are inclusive, a sort of “new black” that’s been written about time and time again.

Black designers are mad at Michelle because she still hasn’t worn anything by one of them.  To make matters worse, on this week’s address to Congress, Michelle didn’t wear a Black designer again.  Here’s an excerpt from an interview done by WWD with Amnau Eele, co founder of the Black Artists Association:

“It’s one thing to look at the world without color but she had seven slots to wear designer clothes. Why wasn’t she wearing the clothes of a black designer? That was our moment [in regards to the inauguration].”

Here’s something else from a statement they released:

“It’s fine and good if you want to be all ‘Kumbaya’ and ‘We Are the World’ by representing all different countries. But if you are going to have Isabel Toledo do the inauguration dress, and Jason Wu do the evening gown, why not have Kevan Hall, B Michael, Stephen Burrows or any of the other black designers do something too?”

I applaud Michelle for making decisions based on her own interests and tastes and not to pander to interests of others for acceptance.  Now, that’s an Alphanista moment.

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