WEEKEND REWIND: Advice: Need A Woman, I Think

I’m what many of you women call a “dog” because I had a lot of women. I’m tall, handsome, gainfully employed, in good shape, got my own car, home, and even a second home. I know I can be a good provider. I haven’t had a real girlfriend in like 5 years. I’m 38. I have no kids, and I’m starting to catch hell from family and the baby daddies around me. The thing is I want kids, but I don’t want to get married. At least, not marry the wrong person. That scares the hell outta me. I’ve worked too hard. I just feel time is slipping by. The afterwork parties and all that is getting wack. I want a soft ass in my bed that’s mine. Where do I start?

Single,
*Shane

Dear *Shane,

Damn. Well, let me just say I wanna stay as far away from you as possible, hon. You sound really confused. But you’ve come for advice, so here’s some.

Make a decision. You are 38. That good ole sperm is gonna be kicking around until you die, but the quality starts depleting at 30 when testosterone drops. Use it now. By the time the kid is 10, you’re gonna be almost 50. Dads at 50 can’t quite play football with their sons like they do at 30. I don’t mean to sound bleak, but the facts are the facts. It doesn’t sound like you wanna be running around forever. Hell, when you marry you’ll have more women who want you. Think it’s a lot now? I’ll tell you why on a later post.

Find a girl, get to know her, and marry her. Date her, date a few with an objective in mind that you want to settle down by (fill in date here). Don’t tell her because she may get you to knock her up a lot sooner. Think about it. When you marry, your domestic situation ain’t gonna change much. You’ll pretty much do the same thing and come home at the same time. But for your wife, her domestic life changes instantly because more than likely she’ll be working, cooking, running errands, and getting both of your lives together. Men expect their women to have some domestic skills.  You’ll have help and a warm body next to you at night. If that’s what you want, please don’t choose anyone whose career is more important than her marriage. Figure out what you want at home. It’ll save you lots of stress later on.

Again, date with a purpose, most good businesmen do. You’ve had the sex, the parties, and the money. It’s time for you to stop letting fear run your life. Yes, you are afraid that is why you want to maintain so much control by not allowing someone else in your life on a consistent basis. I can tell you want to be married. That’s your normal male tendency that you can’t ignore. It’s in your gene. Will you be faithful? That’s not the point. But the point is that you want to bond with another woman in a meaningful way to propagate the species.

You need a legacy.  Make her sign a prenup, too. Read my book MRS. BIG and find out what happens when you don’t. Sounds like you could be working with a lil somethin.

An AF With Love,
MR

“Let Go” Update! 9 Tuesdays Ebook

I’d like to say this update came as a surprise, but it didn’t.  It works if you work it.   This is a great testament of what happens when you “let go” of the wheel.  You can purchase the ebook at the link above or here.  (Teleclasses are sold out for now)

________________________________

I recently ended a 3 year relationship because it wasn’t going anywhere and I was confident enough to know what I really wanted was out there..that’s how I came across your website and book.

I purchased 9 Tuesdays and am on Week 3 of the treatments. I wanted to share how amazing and challenging the process has been for me.

Week one, I found myself releasing all kinds of emotions-tears were flowing. Now I’m getting comments about how my energy is different and how there’s something different about me.

As wonderful as all that is…today is what made me say…there is something really deep going on here. A man (let’s call him John) I have known, loved, fought, debated, shared secrets with for 10+ years has resurfaced in my life after 7 years. 7 years ago, I ended our relationship due to how he chose and how I allowed him to treat me. We were younger then.

Since then, I finished my degree and am on my way to a successful career. I have done at lot of growing up and getting things in order emotionally.

In my spirit, I have known John would resurface in my life; I knew from the first moment I saw him, he would be in my life forever.

To have John resurface after all this time has me curious, excited, scared. I’m basically having a “What the bleep!” moment. I understand that I am to complete the treatments before I make any decisions but the temptation is strong.

To add even more complexity to the situation, there’s a brother at work who I have had a flirtatious friendship with for sometime…on paper he’s the Holy Grail. Single, successful and FINE. Since the treatments, our energy has been different too. Less playful and bit more serious about the potential of us.
Make Sense?

So after 3 weeks of the treatments, there’s someone new and someone from the past who have entered my life. Excited to see what the next 6 weeks bring!

Thanks for sharing 9 Tuesdays and taking time out of your day to read my update.  (comments are disabled for this post)

Leave Your Man Alone This Sunday

Especially, if he’s an alpha…

This Sunday is Superbowl.  The alpha female is doing one thing:  she’s out.

Time after time I keep reading how women are spending Superbowl Sundays with their man and his friends, and manning the background like Mamie.  Can’t these men be left alone for one day?  For instance, a very alpha thing to do would be to throw your own Superbowl party for the wives, girlfriends, or singles only.  You can do this in the basement of the same house or at another person’s house, like a beta, so she’d do all the cleaning up afterwards.

Basically, the thing is to let the men have their day.  Always seek opportunities to foster space between the two of you.   It’s a fact that the more time people spend apart the more time they spend together in thought bonding the relationship on a deeper level.  This is even more important if you live together.  Sure, work is one way of spending time apart but everyone needs time to foster their own interests, so they can come back and share.   Beta men hate this because it brings up feelings of inadequacy on their part and many wouldn’t know what to do out of their routine.   Alpha men crave cave time.   Out of sight, is not out of mind with a man you talk to several times a day.

But of course, there are women who insist they are football fans, too and must be with their man on that day or the sky will fall.  The excuse to stay is “Oh, I’ll cook for ya’ll.”  But you can still cook, set it out all out, and bounce.  A man may not tell you, but he’d rather just sit around with his friends, cuss, drink, fart and eat without you walking around or sitting around giving them the side eye.   They want to talk about the stacked cheerleaders or chick in the commercial or call a player a “bitch” every now and then without worrying about you.

For those of you who make this a tradition with your man, so be it.  If you have no man, and are invited to a party then by all means go.  You can also stay in and just make it a regular Sunday if you can’t be bothered or let him go alone.  This can also be your day to really flutter about doing things that make you feel good without anyone checking in for at least 6 hours.   This is for those ladies who feel they MUST keep a tight leash on their man on any day of the year.   Get out the house that day.  Find your own bar, pub, with friends and do your thing. Come home and take care of your man, then.  Hopefully, his team has won and he’ll be in a “up” mood.

Are Older Women Really Better?

I guess it depends on who you ask.  On Blogxilla, they list a couple of reasons why:

–Older Women Want It More

–They Know What They Want

–Sugar Mama Possibilities

–Likes Sports and Porn

I’d like to add a few:

–Older Women Have  A Better Handle On Their Emotions

–Older Women Can’t Be Bothered Listening To Your Winding Story About What “Really” Had Happened At The Party

–Older Women Have More Than Just Milk, Eggs And Cheese In the Fridge

–Older Women Know When To Let A Man Go

I’m sure there’s more….Don’t knock it, till you try it.

The Alphanista Hall of Fame Vote

Over the last several weeks I’ve been nominating folks into the Alphanista Hall of Fame, a new section that will house only the most eligible alphas—male and female.

All the nominees below have many success traits in common including–controversy.  If you need a run down on what alpha traits are please look through the alpha male and alpha female posts detailing their descriptions.  As they comprise quite a few, and even unusual details.

This section will house winners only.    The one with the most votes will be the first inductee.  If there is a tie or really close there may be more than 1 induction.  Below is a poll to vote.

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