The Alphanista Manifesto For 2009

(No new posts today because of New Year’s Day)

Earlier this week, I asked several of you to post your themes for 2009!  We don’t do list of goals, too pedestrian, too easy to skip and feel bad all over again.  We are about being proactive around here mixed with a little bitchin’ about life now and then.  It’s about using our own power to have dominion over our life, our thoughts, our goals, and our dreams.  2009 can be just another year.  No one said you had to go out and build a skyscraper, rescue a baby, or save the whales.   Choose to name 2009 something you can handle and organize your life around that theme.   Keep it simple, keep it manageable, keep it memorable.  Below are some themes from Alphanista readers. I also threw in a few news ones.  These all have their own special meaning to the reader, but maybe you can derive own.

See yours?

The Year of Growth and New Opportunities!

The Year of Over Indulgence in Self’!

The Year of The Harvest!

The Year of Renewal, Restoration and Reconnection!

The Year of Transformation!

The Year of Increased Income!

The Year of Spirituality and Fitness!

The Year of “The Ring”!

The Year of Let Go! and Let God!

The Year of Manifest Destiny!

The Year of the Star Player!

The Year of the Takeover!

The Year of Order!

The Year of  “Yes”!

Mine is the “Harvest” because I’ve done lots of action oriented plans in the last few years, that I am ready to sit back and see what I’ve given birth to and what is birthing on its own.  Without anymore dibbling and dabbling on my part.  So, whether it’s the Year of “yes” where you’ll say yes to more, transform your self concept, or just let go, and let God, do it your way, nobody else’s.

Don’t forget our Free Teleclass is tomorrow and the “Let Go” ebook is available for purchase which many of you have grabbed already.  I hope you found this blog helpful, especially in getting through the rough patches of the holidays.  It’s only 2 months old, but with your help, it’s received more than 10,000 unique visitors.

In the meantime, savor each minute of 2008.  You don’t know what awaits.  The best gift is the present.

Thank you for the support!

Happy New Year.

Kanye: I Ain’t Sayin’ He’s An Alpha Male, But…

….if the shoe fits…

Here’s what Kanye West told People magazine some months back about his search for a wife:

“I want to have kids, but I want to have the right girl too – someone who really cares about me….When I’m in a club, girls are super-calculating, planning every step,” he says.

So, my question is does he want a bodyguard, a therapist or a wife?  It sounds like he wants someone who can care about him, but what can he offer but a cash allowance?

“It’s lonely at the top. Losing my mom, having no woman in my life to support me – I feel like I’m on my own and can only express it through my music.”

Kanye, there are many folks like you out there.  Those who want to get, get, get.  Unfortunately, this is something found in many alpha males.  The desire to get before they give, if they can give.   But there’s just something scarier about a someone who has so many needs and demands, and nothing to give but more expectations and demands.  It’s tiresome.  The best bet is a man/woman who is a self contained individual, who can also be vulnerable.   A self contained person has an understanding and hold on their own emotions without relying on others to interpret their feelings, or relying on others to make them feel better.   They don’t expect you to make them happy, they come to the table asking you to join their party.  That’s an ideal alpha male, who’s also not needy, but emotionally available.  It’s really not that hard.   Kanye doesn’t sound like he’s boyfriend material, never mind a husband, according to “alpha” female standards.   By all other standards, he is an alpha male (one of the few in hip hop) who needs emotional rehab.

Weekend Rewind: Get Your “Trophy” Man

Here’s an oldie, but goodie.  It’s a new year ladies, time to take it to the next level of bigger is better, no?  Enjoy!

One thing I never lacked was a man of substance, value, and influence.  Timing or character wasn’t always on point, but that can be addressed in another blog.  A man should enhance a woman’s world, not simply detract from it or keep it the same.  Not simply impregnate her and give her womb a work out, but provide a lifestyle that they both nurture and grow together.  Too many times, you find yourself dating civilians, ordinary men who want nothing more than life but a pat on the back from the boss every now and then and a steady paycheck.  That’s fine and well, if that’s what they want.  But if you need more, you need more, period.  Ambition and power is something few men can attest to.  They want to be ambitious, but don’t know how.  They don’t know what opportunities to exploit or explore.  They want power, but don’t have access.  In turn, they abuse others, or themselves to feel powerful.

A “trophy” man is not arm candy to a more successful woman akin to what a trophy wife would be to a successful man.  A trophy man is a man who is used to being celebrated and rewarded because he’s already successful.  To get a trophy man of prestige and status, it’s important to start with your social circle.  Expand and maximize it.  It should reflect people that have already achieved the lifestyle you desire, not folks on their way like you are.  If you associate with the right people in the right social circle, you will be taken care of.  Always keep a level-head.  If you want The Real Housewives of Atlanta you’ll see how disconnected or shallow this crowd may seem.  It’s only a defense mechanism.  People normally want to protect what they believe is limited.  With that said, make sure you associate with people who embrace you, want to show you the ropes, who want to let you in.

Next, a woman’s desire is powerful.  If you have a desire to marry wealthy then it can happen.  Trust me, not too many women are even thinking this because it is far out of their reach, or at least they think it is.  Or they convinced themselves that it’s shallow and mean to just want a man for what he can provide. Remember, those are defense mechanisms for fear.  If you want a man of wealth, you must be confident and you must be free of the opinions of others.  Focus solely on your desire, and the things that make you feel rich.  Fake it till you make it works.  Just ask at least half of the millionaires and successful role models of the world.  Whether it’s with the new social circle, a gala party invite, or a lovely Chanel scarf.  Whatever it is that makes you feel rich, embrace it.

Finally, to get a trophy husband or man of wealth, you must know where to go.  You can start by finding out the 101 Hottest Places To Meet A Millionaire.  With the proper mindset and tools, you can marry well off in no time.  Just keep your head up.

10 “Alpha” Things To Do For Christmas

[Notice: Due to Christmas, there will be no new posts today]

Ready?  Here it goes!

1.  Nothing.

2. Nothing.

3.  Nothing.

4.  Nothing.

5.  Nothing.

6.  Nothing.

7.  Nothing.

8.  Nothing.

9. Nothing

10.  Be good to yourself.  Be authentic to yourself.  Don’t change because everyone says you have to go along.  If you’re not ready to celebrate this holiday with everyone else, don’t feel guilty.  However, it could be a good time to meet new people as an alpha female is always about expanding.  But there’s so much pressure this time of year to be somebody you are not, to make the relationship work, the break off the relationship, to spend more money than you have, to be happy when you are not, to smile for your kids when you are crying, to spread the Christmas cheer when you want to just slap everybody.  But in order to experience what this holiday is really about you have to stay STILL.  There’s lots of magic and happiness in that, too.

Tip 10: How To Be An Alpha Female

“An alpha female crushes her female competition to get the most wanted man in the room, in fact she revels in her power over men, in fact, men love her for it…”

This tip right here can go so many different ways.  Sigh.   First let me clarify why an alpha would need to do this: She doesn’t like competition.  Now, it gives her an indication of what level’s she’s at, but when it comes to a man, she has to be the top.  She will also do whatever she can to sway other women and distract them until she slips further and further into his life.  The alpha female understands that sometimes men need direction.  They won’t always know that you were made for him.  Please, do not take this to mean that you should go out there and direct that riff raff you’ve been chasing. No, this is only for the, oh gosh, I don’t even know if ya’ll ready.  But here it goes: Money men.

These men are few in numbers.  The chances you’ll run into one at Starbucks is like .001.  The chances you’ll meet one at a high net worth charity event is like 50%.  The chances you’ll meet one at a private function hosted by one is 75%.  Do we see a pattern here?  So, the competition is pretty tough to the average girl.  But for the alpha female she’s sees everything as a possibility.  A woman like her could very well meet him at Starbucks and be the envy of her friends for generations.  Now, who wouldn’t like that?

The alpha female differentiates herself.  While the other women are approaching this man she will stay to the side.  While they walk around the room to be noticed she’ll be inching closer to him by standing still.  She had already practiced remote viewing earlier in the evening.  She’ll use that to tune into this man from afar.  [Definitely worth looking up if you don't know] Next, while the other women are parading themselves,  hoping he’ll talk to them or have their cell phones out in case he decides to ask for their number, she’ll slip him a business card.  In fact, she may not even say a word to him that night.  With the eye contact and remote viewing she did earlier will all make it easier for him to notice her.

While she’s keeping an eye on him, she’ll also watch his habits and gestures.  She’ll start mimicking those to initiate bonding.  For instance, I was at an event like this years ago, when I noticed one of my girl friends kept playing with her ear.  We were in close proximity to the very desirable host of the event.  She told me she’s doing it because XYZ does it every time he talks.  He was in a good clear eye shot of her so they exchanged several glances.  Don’t you know, that he came up to her and asked her if they were related and bought up the ear habit?  Funny, but true. They dated for a while.  He felt instantly bonded.

Another unique thing about the alpha female is that men treat her differently and love being around her.  They get a boost from her because she knows how to be around men.  She can get away with being called lots of nasty things.   Men usually call her “interesting”.

So, there.  This is the final alpha female tip until further notice.  All the tips will be available in a FREE ebook with extra information to help the “alphanista” growing in you.   I also don’t expect you to understand and agree with all the tips, but broaden your options to more than 1 way of doing something.  Remember if you’re doing something right all the time, and you are still stuck, you ain’t right.

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