Weekend Read: Get Your Arse Together….Again.

Besides my own books, I read other books when I have the time. But lately, I have definitely been dragging myself around not as productive as I could be.  Especially these days with the world in such influx. That’s when I know I need a good read to feel safe and protected again, or uhm, some nice big man thighs in the bed, whatever.  Once I get my fix, I am good.  This new book, Awaken Your Strongest Self: Break Free of Stress, Inner Conflict, and Self Sabotage by Neil Fiore.  It’s really like nothing else I’ve read so far.  It’s what Alphanista™ is about–awakening the alpha-self, the leader in you, to manage your life.  The book touches on feeling disconnected or overwhelmed with our lives or feeling like we are not living up to our self-concept and performing way below the bar.  What’s different is that it says “feel the pain of staying the same.”  Now, that is something new because every other book out there is about changing the pain, leaving it behind, burning it up with the old panties in the backyard.  This was about staying in the pain.  There was an exercise about envisioning your life if it were the same–same job, same feelings, same struggles, same doubts, for the next five years.  Most people wouldn’t be happy with that because they are about forward movement. 

It doesn’t talk about discipline if you mess up, but structure, and boy do I need structure.  The book is filled with excercises and after “feeling the pain” it takes you to “feel the benefits of change.”  But way before that it breaks it all down from how we need to gather all parts of ourselves–the manager, the dictator, the procastinator, the pessimist and have them work together because they all serve a purpose and it will defeat the feeling of lonely struggle.  Here’s something else that stood out for me and I am paraphrasing: “To reach your destination in life you must sail at an angle, tacking slightly away from your ultimate goal.”  Like sailors do because they are connected to the laws of nature.  “If you’re trying too hard, you’re turning against life.”  Yup, life ain’t supposed to be hard, if it’s hard, turn around and sail at an angle.  So if it seems like you are going the wrong way, it’s the right way.  Sometimes, we won’t get there with one big swoop, but with a fumble or two.

I have to keep reminding myself of these things.  The concepts in Awaken Your Strongest Self, and I have read many, are by far the best, especially if you are weary about all the hocus-pocus books out there about instant gratification.  This is good food for anyone hungry to be make 2009 that year when it all comes together, whatever it may be.  Unlike most folks, I like planning for ‘09 now, not in ‘09.  If anyone buys this book, please share your thoughts with me. Or if there’s one you recommend, suggest here.

Cheers!

Tip 3: How To Be An Alpha Female

Tip 3-Be comfortable being alone.  Alpha females are usually cave dwellers, but have a “clique” or a pack when ready, they truly blossom when with their complementary half, an alpha male.

There are two kinds of alpha-females those who have friends and those who don’t.  What they have in common is, when she’s ready for friends she can gather up the troops.  She may lay low for months at a time, but a friend or wing-girl is just a phone call away.  Being an alpha female with friends is tricky business.  Most women (the betas) do not like alpha females, nor do they want to be alpha females.  The reason for this is that most women want to be liked.  Alpha females could really care less about this.  They just want to win.  They focus very little on what’s right or wrong, or how this is done, or how that is said.   The clincher is many women do admire the alpha female from afar.  They admire her spunk and carefree ways.  They secretly desire to be as bold and confident as she is.  But being around her may be a reminder of what they lack.  Moreoever, alpha females feel being around “civilian” ladies is too much of a drain.  The indecision, the emotional wreckless outburts over a man.  She just doesn’t have the time. 

But when it comes to her alpha male counterpart, she is all ears.  He keeps the steam in her tea kettle.  In the meantime, she finds community in her beta females, who admire her and who she can lead.

Every woman could use a dose of this, learning how to be alone, but learning your role in the group.  A true leader knows how to get people on their side, whether they need them or not.  Just saying….

Tip 2: How To Be An Alpha Female

Tip 2–A woman who is completely in control of her destiny (dedicated to my girl in DUBAI)

It’s simple.  Honor your yes’es and no’s in life.   You ever met that woman who can’t make a decision without conferring with 3 or 4 other people?  How about the one who decides to go out one night to a party, has an awful time, comes home, and beats herself up for going and wasting her time?  Both of these scenarios are about being utterly confused and wasting valuable brain energy.  I’ve been guilty of going out and regretting my decision later.  Or not going out, and wish I did.  It took a minute to see that it’s all fruitless.  The more you keep second guessing yourself the more you see yourself going in circles.  If you are the controller of your destiny (and not everyone believes this, my dears) then you have to act like it.  No one wants to be in the passenger seat of a manic driver with no destination, or who stops people in the street every few miles for directions.  So, I don’t care what it is.  Cooking chicken or fish tonight?  Just make a decision and stick to it.  Believe you made it with the best intentions.  Then let it go. Just let it go.

But what you shouldn’t let go is your weight.  An alpha-female is very conscious about her inner, and outer beauty.  With all the diets and fitness plans available, there’s just no excuse.  And no, you are not “big boned”.  Check out the Three Most Popular Weight Loss Plans and do not finish this year without making some kind of definitive decision about your life and your appearance.  You get all the diet plans in one, and you can take your time and see what works.  An alpha-female is all about looking good and feeling good and is well within her healthy weight range–period.

Tip 1: How To Be An Alpha Female

Tip 1–A woman unafraid to use, and sometimes, exploit her femininity to get her way with men or seal a business deal

You know that woman on your job.  She dresses to kill, hair is perfect, hips sway every time she walks, and is always smiling.  The men love her, swarm her desk with “good mornings” and leave little candies in her pencil holder.   If she’s the office secretary, she can usually get the mailroom guys to drop their copy jobs to do her stack of copies without a problem.  If she’s the VP, she can get the President to fire somebody or give her the next promotion without a “review”.  Or at least, not the one the little people have to get.  Her review would most likely be over dinner, or, cozy lunch with the boss.  When used wisely, feminine power can shake trees.  It’s about being confident, knowing how to say things is more important than what you say.   She doesn’t cry wolf, and could care less about sexual harassment suits.  She doesn’t see any other reason why women wear 5 inch heels to work other than for a man, and doesn’t quite understand how other women become so easily offended when they capture a man’s fancy at work. 

An alpha-female believes she has what it takes, and is proud of her femininity and all it offers the world, for she sees herself as a gift to the world, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  She loves every bit of being a woman, not just a lady.  It’s her choice to use her sexuality as she wishes to make her climb to the top more risky, adventurous, and fun.  

Do you have to be beautiful to get your way with men?  No way.  Again, it’s how you say things.  It’s the confidence you wear, not how much you weigh.  Men are the most gullible of creatures, and a woman who knows how to take care of them, will get very far–at home and at work. 

Click here for more information on how to build charm and talk to others.  It’s not like we’re all born with this, unfortunately.

Had Sex, Now It’s Time To Sleep, Clean, Or….

Since we’re on the sex topic today.  I came across something irrestible on Blogxilla about the “after sex” personality types. I added a *new one. We all know we have one, and if we don’t have one, it slowly develops with the more sex you have.  I normally don’t notice an after sex personality type on men.  Except, the one I got engaged to.  I can speak on a few of the types Blogxilla pointed out.  Wanna hear it?  Here it go:

The Sleeper – These are the people who fall right asleep after sex. The difference between you putting your lover to sleep and “The Sleeper” is that a sleeper will not move, there is no removing the condom, no getting up to wash up, nothing. Just rolling over and falling right to sleep.

I love me some sleep afterwards.  If I’m still up after our lovemaking, something is very very wrong.

The Germaphobe – This is the person who washes, change the sheets and puts on new clothes right after sex. There is no down time to recovery time, or anything else. They go from sex to cleaning, good thing is neither one of you would have to lay in the wet spot.

Everyone should wash, especially women, after sex.  Sorry.  At least a little rinse or somethin’. 

The Analyzer – This is the person who suddenly wants to start analyzing the relationship. They say things like “What am I to you”, “What was this” or even worst “Do you love me?” 45 minutes of bumping uglies does not mean anything has changed. It is what it was when we started, questioning might change things.

By the time sex happens, a relationship is established for some people, so analyzing is only useful if you did something “unpredictable”. The last time I asked a guy this, we went engagement ring shopping the following week.  True story.  It’s not what you ask, it’s who you’re asking.

*THE WITHDRAWER–This male/female usually disappears after sex, but not for long.  They don’t call until a few days later.  When they do call, they act like nothing happened.  They remain elusive.  These types usually don’t hang around for the second time.  Females are guilty of this too because they withdraw for fear of being hurt and do not want to show the guy that they cared about the sex, or don’t want to appear too “clingy.”  Withdrawers are usually emotionally unavailable people, so beware…

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