We all know him. His wife or girl is the center of his universe. He doesn’t eat, drink, sleep or walk without her approval. Sex is totally dominated by her as she gleefully instructs him on how to smack, flip and rub it down. At the end, he’s mush, curling up next to her like a pet.
Who is this woman? Her man is not a nerd, a scrub, or handicapped in any way. He is fine and he can be you next door neighbor. In fact, some men like this. Below are 10 tips to make him submit (or at least try:) :
1. Give him sex on a schedule. Whether it’s 7 nights a week or 3 nights a week. A schedule allows him, like a child, to have some treat to look forward to, he will perform accordingly during the day to get his treat, and if he’s been a bad boy, he won’t get any. Sex at 10pm may not happen, tonight, but he can work hard for sex at 10pm tomorrow.
2. Slap him on his ass every now and then. It’s an endearing, sort of subliminal message of dominance you give to your partner. Your gestures should reflect who’s in charge at all times.
3. Feed him only small portions at dinner. Make sure his plate is always smaller than yours. It is symbolic of his inadequacy.
4. Praise him in front of family and friends so he becomes totally dependent on your approval and acceptance. Get them on your side.
5. Bond with him through mimicking his own gestures and favorite words. This will build a sense of trust in him for you. He’ll believe you and him are one.
6. Bless the horn till the cows come home. Threaten to stop if he lets out any squirms or sounds. This will teach him self control.
7. Teach him all the domestic duties including cleaning, shopping and washing. That’s his job and he better juggle it well.
8. Convince him repeatedly that he is crazy. Even suggest he “talk” to someone. This will make him always unsure of his thoughts that “you are a crazy bitch”. Confusion is one of the best methods of controlling others.
9. Give him the keys to the car only with a written request. There are 1 set of keys for each, 2 cars, and they are both at your disposal. He must give a thoughtfully written request, brief because you don’t have all day, to ask for car keys that lists day, time, and destination. Emails are acceptable.
10. Change the locks every now and then. It’s important that he never feels completely secure and comfortable with you. When he comes home from work jolly and merry, and can’t get in, he’ll rethink what he could have done, maybe apologize for God knows what, and after a crazy series of calls to your celly, you can let him in. Never apologize you just “forgot” to tell him. He’ll understand.
That’s all..for now.